|Reviews for Without Light|
| okashay09 chapter 26 . 7/1/2011
i have a few questions... how can this be the last chapter when there are soooooo many questions left unanswered like why she reacted that way with Kuros and Kintras dad annnd how did Kuro react when he woke up. whatever happened to Selenia and what happened to chris and estelle will they ever meet again? and how does Kuro treat Heather when she gives him her present and when he cant get the dress of XD!
| Xmidnight.queenX chapter 19 . 7/1/2011
i finally was able to get to the story yay! i should probably be sleeping since i work tmmr morning but i cant go without reading this.
so kuro is hibernating but why was he so intent on getting it on with heather i was soo like wtf cause he was like an animal but i guess it could be because of his hibernation being delayed. so heather you do like when kuro touches you i would too he sounds hot and like he knows what he is doing hahahah
p.s. kuro i wouldnt mind staring at your rock hard chest XD
and whats up with the king that stupid son of a b***! he was such a pig with estelle man poor pet [
so kintra has a thing for chris?
| CaBlasch87 chapter 25 . 6/30/2011
all i can think is mmmm...i personally think it was a great chapter
| Hunko11 chapter 4 . 6/30/2011
I really like how it starts with Chris kicking the snake dude. And I really like the relationship between Chris and Heather. She is really smart to use the hair beret to hold the rode together. I am glad that Chris and Heather get to stay together. When the snake was explaining what all the terms were it was a very good way that explained a lot of things in a very smooth manner. Very good story so far cant wait to read more.
| Aradia Cloud chapter 3 . 6/30/2011
So effin confused right now 'til it aint even funny.
| Aradia Cloud chapter 1 . 6/30/2011
| Hunko11 chapter 3 . 6/30/2011
I really like the idea of the forest taking to her and the wolf as well I love how your story holds so many questions and nature in it. Its funny when she thinks she crazy
| CrystalizedMoments chapter 1 . 6/30/2011
Also.. please please please please update I'm soo curious to know what shall happen with Kuro and Heather!
| CrystalizedMoments chapter 25 . 6/30/2011
Yes! I love it to bits.. thank you for posting this. It truly is a treasure to read.
| Ramar chapter 25 . 6/30/2011
So, first and foremost, Happy advanced Birthday Without Light! XD
Anyhoot, it's incredibly sad to know that this is nearly the end but I do have the book that's to be published to look forward to. It has been wonderful reading all of this from the start. ]
You've covered every plot hole, it seems, so there isn't anything to worry about. There are some slight grammatical errors here and there but someone's already got that covered. XD
It seems that the most likely person to die soon is Midori, although that would be sad. She's got an heir so it isn't much of a problem for her to die compared to the other characters. With Lucas's new found...er identity, I do hope that the Strays will have a better chance of winning this war against the dragon king. Speaking of which, an introduction to the stag kingdom in the next installment would be very nice...I'd love to know what that kingdom's got ]
And now...I shall miss your writing indeed... (
| oober chapter 25 . 6/29/2011
It feels like Kuro been asleep forever! I hope he wake up in the next chapter :) Love the story! Love the chapter3
| FueledByRumors chapter 25 . 6/29/2011
I am so obsessed with this story and it's killing me that Kuroshi hasn't been awake for what feels like forever.
The only thing I don't really like about the story is that Heather is in denial way too much of the time. Like, when she realizes she's Kuro's treasure, she just stops thinking about it or something-she could have had a moment of clarity and realized how much she meant to Kuro, whether he knows it or not.
Anyway, at this point, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let them be together. And Kintra's confessions was...intersting, to say the least. Though I get how it's easier to fall for the dangerous brother:P
Finally, PLEASE give them a happy ending:)
| ShortcakeMattie chapter 25 . 6/29/2011
Holy crap. How did Kuroi get a hold of Heather? Did I miss something in the previous chapter? DX Or is it Midori's daughter that's pretending to be Heather?
But even as she did, her had automatically caught one of those pink bottles too.
Edit: But even as she did, her hand automatically caught one of those pink bottles too.
Or at least... I think you meant hand?
"So I am your treasure… But how come you never told me?" - This part is so sad and describes the entire scene where Heather watches Kuro sleep. You capture her heartache and longing well.
By the way, the picture you posted on Facebook, is that this scene? It was gorgeous and reminded me of this scene.
Yay! You put the Lucas/Cer scene in! :)
Even if it was sad, I liked it. The part where Lucas said Cer was his wife was cute.
Vaguely she knew he could not possibly Kuroshi.
Edit: I think you meant "Vaguely she knew he could not possibly be Kuroshi."
...uh-oh. Is that Kuroi? Stay away from Heather! DX
"You little skank!" Suddenly Kuroi was back in Selenia's face. "Why didn't you mention that earlier! You are heir to new daughter's throne!"
Edit: I'm not sure what you meant, but "...You are heir to new daughter's throne!" doesn't sound right to me.
Never mind. I stand corrected about the picture I mentioned earlier. Kintra's speech at the end about hoping Heather would "...never feel as if you are not valuable..." was so sweet and touching.
"Yeah, even he has weaknesses. But you, Heather, I knew from that first day: your is sweet words."
Edit: I think you meant "...yours is sweet words."
I'm glad you've postponed the deaths, although I still wonder who's going to die. You hint at Estelle because his wounds are infected, but that seems like an easy guess. It could sadly be anyone.
Happy early birthday to Without Light! I'm glad I stumbled upon this wonderful story before it was taken down. And I also wish you luck with publishing.
| willwriteforhearts chapter 1 . 6/29/2011
Hey! So FINALLY coming around to critiquing this, I'll probably critique more but this is for the first chapter:
Overall, I really like this. At first I was a bit nervous about the concept- I've seen stuff like this and they usually turn out to be really cliche or bad- but you handled it very well. I really liked it and it kept me interested!
Now, maybe it's just my own problem, but the beginning seems a little too dramatic and out of place (from "I'm sorry, Hikaru..." to "All thought.") I don't really know how this connects with the rest of the story. "Hikaru" seems a bit anime-ish for a name and I feel like it detracts a little from the story, maybe that's just my own problem? And "A stubborn refusal of all that was true and ordained." seem much to obvious. By saying that so blatantly, the reader immediately knows that she's going to fall in love and it kind of detracts a little from the surprise. It seems like you're trying to force the idea too much on the readers, but this is just my opinion!
While the rest of the story seems to flow well, there do seem to be a few more "this makes it too obvious" bits. Like, "Had she been betrayed by her very best friend?" Instead, I'd suggest memory flashes or something to that effect. You also say Chris's eyes are "sky blue" but that's not a very original color to recognize someone by. Maybe something different?
Know that you needn't take all my advice too seriously, but I do hope it helps you somewhat. Good luck! :)
| Megan309 chapter 24 . 6/28/2011
This is really well written and I'm quite addicted to it. I look forward to the next chapter. I love your character Kuroshi and the dynamic relationship he has with Heather. I also greatly appreciate how you give us details about the characters without coming out and saying it. They're more like hints that one adds up and eventually gets an answer from. The development of your characters in general is amazing. Each one has a distinct personality, even the minor ones where the reader may only get a brief view of it. I'm. A huge fan of this story. Keep it up.