Reviews for Without Light
SCopySCat91 chapter 11 . 2/3/2011
Ever since I got to Chapter 8 in this, I can't stop thinking about it. I mean, the depth goes beyond the words and makes me truly think about this compared to real life. Chris seems willing to give up his personal honor, to get what will boost his comfort (and ego). And when I really think about it... I would do the same thing. While Heather chooses pride and honor over comfort and this seems silly to me. I mean what good does pride do in the end?

But this has me thinking, "maybe there is something wrong with that mindset" It's really interesting to see how my opinion changes as the story progresses
SCopySCat91 chapter 10 . 2/2/2011
I want more! I mean this chapter was full of internal conflict and angstyness. I am actually sad that this chapter is over. Your work is just so breathtakingly amazing
SCopySCat91 chapter 9 . 2/2/2011
Estell sounds so beautiful. The ultimate dream guy for a girl like me.

I just relized just how bratty Heather was. But that's a good thing. Imprefection is the new perfection.

I feel so bad for Chris! I mean his adoration for the 'new world' that he has found is just great... but something is gonna go wrong.

PS: Chris is my new favorite character!
Kairi Nightingale chapter 8 . 2/2/2011
"She had blonde hair and big blue eyes; not his type, and that's all Heather cared to notice." Heh, heh, I love that line. Nice job. By the way, I've been meaning to tell you how well you describe the many different creatures in your world. You were very creative with it and it makes it interesting how there are so many different species of people in your story.

Also, I meant to ask you this out of curiosity a few chapters ago but I wanted to read a little more first, Where did Heather's father get his nickname from?
Kairi Nightingale chapter 7 . 2/2/2011
This chapter was well written. I like the part where Aki erased Heather's mind and how you repeated conversation. It left me feeling similar to Christian.(lol) Poor Heather.

I think you did a good job on the dragon brothers' personalities. I can't wait to read more about them. _
Kairi Nightingale chapter 6 . 2/2/2011
I liked this chapter. It explained many of the little things that you hinted at before. The only thing I have to say about it is that you might want to make it a little more clear on who's talking when there is more than two people going back and forth in a conversation. I got lost a couple times when Heather spoke and then Aki spoke but then Lucas comes into the conversation unannounced. I really like Lucas, now, though. He just like a kitty! I couldn't stop laughing when he began talking about milk! lol
Anonymous chapter 6 . 2/2/2011
I'm 12 and what is this.
252452435 chapter 3 . 2/2/2011
this is definitely a magical sounding chapter! it gets a little confusing, but I guess that's because it's going to take a while to absorb everything into my brain. I think that the sea serpents are creepy..but that's always a good thing because it seems like they're obviously supposed to be scary and intimidating. okay, well that's all I had to say about this chapter! keep being awesome.
Praw chapter 8 . 2/2/2011
Heather is adorably rude! I also laughed at Chris when he said that there were no chicks. P
Inu chapter 10 . 2/2/2011
Wow! There are lots of delicious things going on in this chapter. I'm glad that Chris finally achieved his goal of being with you-know-who. Also, I now know more about chimeras thanks to you, and I have to say that I want one because they're so cute!
Tribble chapter 3 . 2/1/2011
Kairi Nightingale chapter 5 . 2/1/2011
Wow, that leopard is awsome! I didn't expect that master was going to die so quickly, though. Overall great chapter!

I did see one mistake though...

In one sentence you put:

"He had sharp white fangs and..."

but in another you put:

"And he really did look perfect. No claws or fangs like the creatures beside him."

Anyway, great story! Can't wait to read more!
SCopySCat91 chapter 8 . 1/31/2011
"Oh my god there's no chicks!" I love that line! It shows so much about Chris in a mere 6 words.

Do I need to say it again, I love Lucas!

I'm kinda confused. Can you explain to me when did they leave Lucas and Cer?

Overall, awsome chapter
ShortcakeMattie chapter 10 . 1/30/2011
Thanks for the shoutout! : )

I was too busy trying to finish this chapter to notice any mistakes so I had to go back and re-read it! There were a few missing commas; but nothing too major. I was really mad when Rosa broke Christian’s neck but really glad when Estelle fixed it. This chapter just goes to show how you excel in human emotion, showing how you captured Chris’s emotions through the piece. Well done!
Open your eyes Chopstick chapter 1 . 1/30/2011
hi, so i saw you on the forum and thought i'll give a review. Since it's getting late, I'll make it nice and simple :)

First off, the story seems a bit jumpy. Perhaps its because of the lack of discriptions, but it left me feeling as if it didnt flow.

I did, however, liked the first sentence. It was a nice hook. The rest of the chapter was interesting. It made me wonder what everything is about. You did a good job using Heather as the person we should relate to. Just like how the readers are thrown into a world, completly confused, we know that as long as we follow Heather, we'll get the answers as she discovers them.

Do you mind r&r my story "Twist of Daisy"? Thanks so much!
860 | « Prev Page 1 .. 21 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 41 .. Last Next »