|Reviews for Protector Of The Universe|
| vampirekyawl chapter 2 . 7/4/2010
I liked this chapter very much. The narrator's outsider view on humanity is interesting, and I also enjoyed reading his thoughts on colors (and tomatoes).
Maybe it doesn't really matter and I'm just a nerd, but you got your biology wrong. "Two brown-eyed people cannot have a blue eyed child" is incorrect. Brown is a dominant gene over blue, so it would be possible that two people with brown eyes could each have one brown gene and one blue gene, which could possibly result in a blue eyed child. Maybe you meant to say that the parents have blue eyes and the girl has brown?
Anyway, like I said, I like the story so far :)
| Stephish chapter 1 . 6/30/2010
I really enjoyed this! The last two paragraphs described the moment particularly well- I particularly like "The moment held and lingered, like time itself was pausing. Then it was over."- it seems that most of the epic things in life happen like that, don't they?
While I liked the phrase: "Future beings would judge him, but Time was his only judge.", some pronoun clarification would be nice. I believe you meant that the boy would be judged by future beings, and the old man by time, just make sure that whatever you meant was clear. Also, "done his duty"...this is probably just the immature 7-year-old in me, but anything about doing your duty makes me giggle...Hm...Maybe "fufilled his duties/responsibilities", something like that? Or maybe I just need to grow up. ;)
Keep writing; I'd love to hear what happens next! You've done a great job at working with story/emotions, I'd like to see more character and place descriptions in future chapters to make it even better!
| Intrepid Nightbird chapter 1 . 6/30/2010
The title and summary pulled me in immediately, and I must say I am very intrigued.
I don't have much to mull, but just that I can't wait to see what you do :)