|Reviews for The Charlatan|
| Isobel Rowan chapter 2 . 7/4/2010
This was a good first chapter. I could practically smell the man's closet. That's how well you describe it. I think you did a good job foreshadowing some things about the MC, such as the King and his war games.
I think the transition was abrupt between where you describe her relationship to the King and then switch to Tandy. I think you needed more in between for a smoother switch. Like did she meet Tandy while in the King's service? Is Tandy related to the king? Maybe contrast how she feels with both. These are just examples, of course, since I have no idea who Tandy is at this stage. I liked how you describe Tandy's affect on her. "Peaceful remission" was a good phrase. It sounds medieval. I also liked "lavendar and herbs to mock me."
There's a certain cadence you have in your writing that is very literary, by that I mean good. Example: "Far away the tolling of church bells signaled it was time to be on my way, and I sighed, knowing it was time." Normally, the overuse of "time" would annoy me, but here it doesn't. It's sweet emphasis. You did this several other times as I recall. All of them were nice and they seemed to fit the era. Good job.
I especially liked this line: "The boy stood there with wide eyes and an open mouth, the coin shining by his feet."
You foreshadowed the hell that would break loose and the boy's surprise. Overall, it was well done. I would have liked to have seen more of what her relationship to her brother was. I felt like I almost knew. The fact that she defies the king for her brother makes it a very important fact, I think.
| zutAra101 chapter 4 . 7/4/2010
A witch, a Lady and her honour...sounds like quite a quest )
For thee has once again left me bewitched and till the end of the ages requesting another look at marvelous words that capture thy mind.
Update when you can hun...and though you may think it was rushed; to me it wasn't.
-Z; your knight in review :D
| zutAra101 chapter 3 . 7/4/2010
I love this story so far...I love the fact that she's a knight. I'm just drawn to the story and wish to read more so please mi'lady if thee wish post a chapter and let thy continue be bewitched.
| Tah the Trickster chapter 2 . 7/1/2010
Ooh, very dramatic. x3 You've managed to pique my interest. (Particularly since there are precious few [good] medieval-based F/F stories on FP from what I've seen.)
Can't wait to see where it goes. :3
| Twelfth Night chapter 1 . 7/1/2010
I love this beginning! You just keep getting better and better. XD The accent's amazing and I can clearly tell this is dialogue.