|Reviews for Blind World|
| xenolith chapter 1 . 7/3/2010
Yes, a new piece! Thank you :D
So what I liked about this one is the form, first off. The big chunky paragraphs of text, just clicking the link and looking at all that is kinda intimidating, but also encouraging, like you just know it's going to be good. And it is good. The last line didn't particularly work for me, but only because it was too obvious, I guess it really just reiterated the point of the story so there's nothing wrong with that.
Her actions are described very methodically, and at the end of it so is her emotion, they kind of merge, I think. I mean, this sentence, 'She put her hands in her red hair and began to cry uncontrollably for about five minutes until she glanced up and saw the apple' it describes everything all in one go, as if it was just another action. This says so much about her state of mind, without even having to say it. I don't know, I guess I just kinda liked that.