|Reviews for Fighting the Norms|
| InkedSoul chapter 1 . 7/16/2010
If you were at a store why would you buy a dress with a stain on it...I wonder...
Anyway, I feel sorry for Izabelle (I like how you spelled her name by the way) having to get married to an "commanding and overbearing" man who was also originally married to her sister. Not to mention twelve years older than her. That really sucks...
I admire Iva though for standing up to her father even though she was disowned :\
This chapter had a lot of twists of information in it. But it was short enough that it wasn't so overbearing to absorb all that inforemation.
There were some minor mistakes here and there:
[Her mother gave her look.]
add 'a' between her and look
[Her glared at her.]
Change the first her to 'he'
[Their house was built sometimes in the eighties]
'sometime' not 'sometimes'
[Some parts of it definitely need renovating.]
Watch out for this. The whole story is in past tense so 'need' should be 'needed'
[Men could go whatever they want and do whatever they want once]
I think you mean "Men could go WHEREVER they want..."
[If they were not married before eighteen, their parents would spend hours in the closet praying for her thinking her lack of suitors were due to some sin.]
Add a comma after "...praying for her[,]"
Besides the minor mistakes the story is good so far. I wonder how Izabelle will handle the marriage. I feel sorry for people with forced marriages, it's kind of disappointing not marrying the one you love. Anyway, I'm curious to see more of this (:
~Idareutoguess from the Roadhouse
| this wild abyss chapter 4 . 7/14/2010
Another nicely written chapter. I liked the extra description you put in here. It was very nice. The plot certainly seems to be moving along.
| HiddenFromYou chapter 1 . 7/14/2010
"go whatever they want" - Is meant to be 'go wherever they want'.
I feel this chapter was too short. I would have liked it to be longer with more words to set the scene.
You repeat the "she will be the seventh to be married" line twice, as well as in the summary. We only need to know it once.
| guy at the computer chapter 2 . 7/13/2010
Hi. I read the story but I'll stick with reviewing chapter two. Two things bothered me, first the dead squirrel. You could go on and explain why it always causes so much agony to Izzie. Also when she reads Romeo and Juliet. Again a little more detail on why and how it made her feel as and after she read it. I think it would aid in her character development. And to me it feels like they are living in the 1900s, which I guess there is nothing wrong with that as you are showing us how her family is so backwards and conservative. Story had a nice flow and was a joy to read.
| this wild abyss chapter 3 . 7/13/2010
I like how real this story feels. Izabelle's emotions are clear and easy to understand, not to mention relatable. I feel that the story was a little rushed, though, because I never really got a good look at the setting or anything similar. Basically, you should add a little bit more description, at least in my opinion.
| ByYourSide chapter 1 . 7/13/2010
I like the idea of this story. Of course all Christian families aren't like that, but there are a few that are and I definitely feel Izabelle's pain. A twenty-dollar stained dress from Goodwill, picked out by her mother? Having to walk home and cater to the guys all day? As if. I could not stand for that.
I think you write her reaction to the situation very well. She grew up in it, so she's somewhat used to the imprisonment, even if she hates it, and is resigned to the engagement (Josh sounds icky). It's a controlling, stifling environment. Let's see the fun begin when she rebels. :)
Well-written, good characterization. I like.
| MeAsIAm chapter 3 . 7/13/2010
I loved the chapter. There were almost no errors, and tiny ones if any. :)
Izabella is stronger than I had thought.
She thought of Romeo's relationship with Juliet and Mr. Darcy's with Elizabeth.
- And to think that these to couples came a few centuries before Izabella and Josh. Even if they are a bit romanticized for lovers' sake, we can see a sense of equality between the partners.
Will be waiting for more!
via the roadhouse
| MeAsIAm chapter 2 . 7/13/2010
Another interesting chapter.
I like the way Izabella's life springs up about us - through recollections and memories.
It was 4:00 pm, time to make dinner.- Oh my god, I have coffee at that time. Even the thought of dinner is aeons away from my mind. :)
long as it tastes good
- change 'taste' to 'tasted'.
But, it's not like
- You can do without the 'but'.
still has schooling
- change 'has' to had
There a couple of such errors in the next paragraphs too, but you easily can go over them to correct them.
(Hey you can get a beat for your story if you like.)
Moving on to the next chapter. :)
| NB-writer chapter 3 . 7/12/2010
Wow what twisted people. They took Christianity and just messed that up didn't they. Plus "This came directly from God." what a lie. I seriously think I hate the dad, though I thought Josh would be the big baddie.
Basically this chapter sparked a lot of outrage, which is a good thing. A reader feeling emotion from a book is (almost) always a good thing. I so want to see what happens next.
| Typing Typhoon chapter 2 . 7/12/2010
I figured I'd drop back in since the prologue was so good. Glad I did too, Chapter 2 doesn't dissapoint. The use of examples and memories for characterization (if I use the term enough, it will become a word)rather than scenes from in the moment is a good idea. By doing so you don't need to put as much effort into narrating everything else.
Though it's only chapter 2, I have an inkling of an idea of Izabelle's personality and I think any reader would already have her parents labeled as you have already had strong emphasis on their personalities. Good stuff.
As for the plot itself, there really isn't much to judge so eearly on. But the story is definitely entertaining so far.
| NB-writer chapter 2 . 7/12/2010
Yes, another chapter. I'm not usually into this type of book. I'm more of a fantasy/romance type of gal, but this is really captivating.
I feel sorry for Izabelle though, and I hope she does something soon. "Certain womanly duties." Urg, I want to smack him so badly. A horrible father indeed.
I can't find any big problems with your writing, but it's a little short. Other then that nice job.
Please update soon.
| seredemia chapter 2 . 7/12/2010
Izabelle's life seems... busy. To what I've gathered, she has quite a lot of siblings..? I feel sorry for her too. She envies other people's lives because she doesn't like her own. Her life seems a bit bleak and lifeless to me... Only bibles to read..? Wow, her parents are strict...
| seredemia chapter 1 . 7/12/2010
I liked how you started this. I feel a bit sorry for Izabelle, being forced to marry someone she most likely wouldn't like. I can see that this is one of those stories where women are less important than men. That's different. I like this :) I do wonder what happened to Iva after she was disowned...
| this wild abyss chapter 2 . 7/11/2010
From the Roadhouse:
Oh, booy...THE TALK. Ughh, and coming from her dad, too. awkward. How old is Izabelle? I'm sorry if you mentioned this, I'm sort of forgetful. Very nice chapter. It was a little short, but I liked it.
| this wild abyss chapter 1 . 7/11/2010
From the Roadhouse:
Whoa! I'm a Christian and all, but this is really ridiculous. I've heard about people who act like this, but reading about it is something entirely different. Thanks for writing this; it's very enlightening. I did feel that you could have added more description, and at times your verb tenses were inconsistent, but other than that it was a very nicey writting chapter.