|Reviews for Casablanca and Poland|
| deefective chapter 1 . 7/17/2010
Hm. Well, I did enjoy all the allusions in this. You had a way of mingling them into the piece very smoothly and in all the right places. Also, the alliteration in this was absolutely excellent. My favorite one was right at the beginning:
"glaring garnet sun scraping the surface of your eyelids,"
That was lovely and perfectly written. Throughout the piece, you had some vivid imagery painted together with some rather elegant words and I really liked that just because I'm a huge fan of imagery. I also liked the subtle sexuality in this. It's interesting because on one hand you could read this and see it as blatant but at the same time, it could be seen as not even there. Very clever. Same with the rhyming. Very subtle, barely there but beautifully done. My favorite stanza was definitely the last one, though. Gahd, that imagery. Poetic perfection.
However, probably because of my personal preference, I felt like you were dancing around what you wanted to say. At times I was reading this and just thinking that there's a lot of extra in here. I notice you have this certain style of writing that includes a lot of whimsical words and this hint of the old fashioned. It's structured and reads quite formally but that's the "Faithless Juliet voice". I'd like to see it roughened up a little, though. Of course, I'm being biased because I've got a penchant for angst and all that but I think you could make some really kickass poetry if you toughened it up. But other than that, nicely done.
| Isca chapter 1 . 7/14/2010
"Glaring garnet." This ga-sound alliteration in the opening stanza is very striking and creates a very vivid image of the sun. I like the 'gaze' motif that eyelids/incense implies.
"A negress slave girl" and "Those arabesque stitches of thread" were two lines in the first section that stood out for me; the first is captivating, the latter lovely for its 'arabesque' word choice.
"Wagnerian" and "Isolde." Excellent allusions.
"Stuns the air into stillness." This is one of my favourite lines from the piece; it's daring, almost sacrosanct.
"Girls bloom at night like roses." I couldn't help but think of Queen Titania, for some reason. This line has such a quaint, coming-of-age feel to it.
[The Review Game - Poems - Easy Fix]
| girl unobserved chapter 1 . 7/14/2010
I really, really like the flow of the words and how you break it up into the little sections.
Really, very well done - you have a remarkable talent!
| Black Sparrow chapter 1 . 7/12/2010
Aah, simply brilliant! I love it, it was so beautiful :) You are a true seamstress of words. I envy your talent and admire it at once!
| tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 7/11/2010
vi.'s my favorite!
| cab fed hig chapter 1 . 7/11/2010
honestly, i am practically certain that this is the most beautiful piece i've ever read.