Reviews for Women Want Sex
thewhimsicalbard chapter 1 . 9/16/2010
[RG - Poems - Easy Fix]

I perhaps this is a typo, or perhaps it has a great deal more meaning, but I don't understand why you put two punctuation marks at the end of your second line. The beginning of a poem should be pretty flawless, otherwise you turn your readers off.

I thought the language of your last five lines was really strong, because it supported the statements your speaker made in the rest of the poem. It was an interesting way to reveal character motivation for the speaker, and also an interesting change of tone. The female speaker seemed so self-assured, but at the end it is revealed that her self-assurance is fabricated, and that in fact woman only knows what she wants if the man approves.

A strange message, and perhaps not what you meant to communicate, but nonetheless what I gleaned from your poem.

Keep on writing!

-thewhimsicalbard
Air Rey chapter 1 . 7/25/2010
what I like about this is the reality that it presents. You presented a different facet of a woman. you built around the humanity in women that is in a way different. You showed that women are not simply objects of desire, but similarly subject to desire. Good job!

You used simple words to drive to your point. It's simple and easy to understand, yet it tries to leave space for interpretation and ambiguity. Though it lacks some thematic complexity, you managed to build up on one concept and focus on that same concept all throughout.

I like your poem. It's tied up end to end and well-rounded. Good job!
jonathan barnicoat is smelly chapter 1 . 7/19/2010
i am smelly. very interesting story/poem thingy :))
lipleaf chapter 1 . 7/17/2010
Your opening line was well pulled off. I like the tone of it- the speaker's attitude is very blunt and to the point. She isn't ashamed to say what she thinks. The rhyming was also nice. I usually don't like it when it's irregular, but in this case it worked well with the flow to create a sort of consistent rhythm throughout the piece. The line "he is the one who will make us scream." is also raw and undecorated. The last line feels a bit awkward, though. It seem abrupt, almost. It feels like there should be more.
Isca chapter 1 . 7/14/2010
"We look at a man and instantly know, he is the one who will make us scream." M, there is some truth to this, I think. You sort of know right away who you would and would not want to have sex with.
wasteofdays chapter 1 . 7/13/2010
Amen. Love the scream, too.