Courtesy of the Review Marathon (link in my profile)

I liked the wording sequence of this piece with each word occuring in the exact same place, excepting the verbs. It created a nice lyrical rhythm, akin to the chorus of a song.

One thing I think you could improve on might be the strength of the content. Perhaps ambiguity would have been what you were going for but something more concrete - perhaps shown through some striking imagery - would have left a better impression on the reader's mind.

Aww. Short, but exquisite. Made me feel good, in a breathless kind of way.

As usual, I have no idea if what I'm trying to communicate even makes sense to you, but anyway... it's a compliment. :)

- Lena

I really like this. It's kind of...special the way it's sort of flip-flopped after the middle but the 'promise, promise' stays the same. :)

Hey Kaylaa! :)

I know I've been terribly negligent when it comes to reviewing on your stories, but I promise it's just because I've been too busy to read them! Not because I don't like them, because that is definitely not the case! I promise I'll try to get to them soon. But for now... I'll review this :)

I actually really like this poem! It's not so profound and deep that you have to sit there for a long time just to analyze the meaning, and yet I think it still really hits home.

Simple, yet poignant.

I love the repetition, too. I think it really gives something to the poem.

Amazing job! Definitely a favorite :)

Have a great day!

~Maria

PS: How have you been? I miss talking to you!