|Reviews for Wild Wild West|
| Robert Shannon chapter 1 . 1/15/2011
I laughed at the establishment named 'Whore House'. Very descriptive name for a business. Wish everything was so honest.
This is not the old west I know, but it's certainly interesting. It has the makings of a good comedy. A lady sheriff in an old west town? What fun!
To my eyes, you have too much going on at once. It looks like the wanted women come in and disappeared, with the marshall following a few seconds later. I think if you expand this - maybe put in some description and indicate the passage of time, it would read better.
Typos and Grammar:
'to her. Hey Jo you ' [you forgot your quotation mark here]
'"Their good at that…' [s/b 'They're']
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