|Reviews for Target Practice|
| Cleoattila chapter 1 . 7/19/2010
This one was so swet also! awe :)
| PerryC chapter 1 . 7/15/2010
I'm really enjoying your writing. This story keeps you thinking right from the beginning - wondering what the characters are doing, what their mission is - and you drop in just enough clues along the way to make the ending perfectly understandable without insulting the reader's intelligence. Very well done!
| Kobra Kid chapter 1 . 7/15/2010
Wow, you really added some great suspense in the beginning! I thought it was going to be a school shooting at first, but then you transitioned nicely into asking Victoria on a date. That was really cute. :). Just some more description would be nice. Not mountains of paragraphs of it, but you know what I mean. :). Great job!
| lipleaf chapter 1 . 7/15/2010
This oneshot was actually quite amusing. I like the fact that you wrote a romance from a guy's point of view- that isn't done often and it's refreshing to see. The dialogue between to two was nicely written. It felt pretty realistic to me, and I could hear the buzzing of the walkie-talkies as they sent and received communications. The military-eque attitude was well done. Also, keeping the dialogue and descriptions short really does help build up the mood of suspense and anticipation. It's very dramatic.
I like how you left the ending open on this one. That usually bugs me, but I kind of feel like the whole "one last proposal and she finally says yes" thing is overdone. So nice job!
(From the Roadhouse)
| this wild abyss chapter 1 . 7/15/2010
LOL! This was really great. I'm not a guy...so I don't know if this is realistic, but as a girl, I like to think of guys in this way. Nicely done!
| OrangeXAngel chapter 1 . 7/15/2010
Here to leave a review again. :) I wish there were more chapters to this. I think this was...do I dare say...cute? xD Really, it was. I think it reveals to us more of the guy perspective. At the beginning, I thought they were talking about a bully or something, but now I understand. :D Good job, Keep writing!
| UnlikelyHero1 chapter 1 . 7/14/2010
I liked it :) an awesome metaphor for that situation, fitted perfectly. well done.
| artofjula chapter 1 . 7/14/2010
Okay so, I really adored the beginning. I had to read it twice because I was kind of confused, and then I understood. Man, the ending.. I wanted to know what she said. You left it at a big cliffy, but good job anyway. :)
| Passionately Yours chapter 1 . 7/14/2010
Haha brilliant! I thought I was reading a story about a spy, or a FBI agent! I didn't think it would be about asking a girl on a date. Really good job!
| BraydenKrell chapter 1 . 7/14/2010
Heh heh. I think the strongest part of the story was the building of tension and the sudden (unexpected) ending. The whole time, I was wondering. What is this about?
I think one thing you could have done, is remove the references to the situation. Like, "I'll be back in time for recess." or at least made them more vague.
That way the reader's going "wtf?" all the way to the end.