LoL, this chapter made me laugh... Ky, Brinn and Twylla's relationship are developing well... but I wonder if Brinn's going to murder Twylla...I hope not...

Great chapter. :D

WoW...that. Was. INTENSE!

Really good chapter. Poor Twylla, had no idea what hit her. :D

I love Ky, I wanna wrap him up in a little box and take him home so whenever I feel lonely we can cuddle...

Awesome chapter. XD

oh! LoL, awesome chapter, I feel sorry for Twylla though, she's so innocent and breakable. I'm pretty sure she'll totally freak when they start 'training' her though. Poor her.

I think Brinn's kinda hot in the sexily mysterious/annoying kind of way (if that makes any sense whatsoever)... Again, there seem to be some grammar issues (insert question marks and full stop where needed and also there's the over use of ellipsis')

Also, I've noticed that there have been multiple missuses of the words 'to' and 'too'...

Apart from these grammar/spelling issues it was great.

Poor Twylla... although Ky and Brinn's relationship sounds a bit kinky *wink* *wink*

lol. I enjoyed the chapter.

lol, Brinn is such a tight-arse, great chapter. Ky sounds totally awesome... :D

Awesome chapter, there was definitely less use of ellipsis in this one (that or I've gotten use to it). remember to add in the question marks and stuff if you can be bothered/have enough time.

The plot line of this story seems pretty cool, but the use of ellipsis (...) is used WAY too frequently and I think that ruins their purpose of dramatic pauses.

Also, the grammar in the story is pretty good, but could do with a bit more revision- for instance you put ellipsis' or full stops in places where is question mark is needed.

I'll continue with the next chapter... but frequent spelling and grammar mistakes often put me off reading stories.

Sorry if I sound annoying, I just hope I helped a bit.

This story is really awesome i you are amazing -

Not that I am one to make demands... but...I demand the sequal. Seriously. If you don't put it up, after this epic story, and the cliffhanger, you would fall into the category of 'tease' and borderline 'horrible person'. Some things just MUST be shared. I found myself so addicted to this story, that I was reading it at work. At home, via my Kindle. One of the thing I did first in my day, and what I did right before bed... I think, at one point, I even had a dream about it. Not sure. So please, please, PLEASE, post the sequal?

I loved loved this story!

A very good story, so far. I think that this chapter might have been more productive if it had been split in two.. maybe starting a new chapter when they are in the lift. Kudos to your mother!

This was a really great story. I completely loved it

Hello! Just wanted to say a two things. First I love this story so far, it's just great. I think I read earlier that you are posting it on behalf of your mom? Anyways great job.

Secondly, little tiny bit of constructive criticism, I think that you might be going a little overboard with the "...". But otherwise great!