|Reviews for If I Die|
| writergurlLW chapter 2 . 7/18/2010
Once again, I have to compliment you on James's voice. I can honestly imagine him as a real guy. You have a nice hold on your characterization. What with me currently having no knowledge of war, I can't say how realistic the words used for battle is, so I won't even comment on that. I'll leave that for another reviewer who knows about that type of thing.
However, you have to get a much tighter hold on your writing. There are still many instances of run-on sentences. I also noticed errors with present and past tense. You often switch between the two without warning. Watch out for that.
| writergurlLW chapter 1 . 7/18/2010
As far as the storyline goes, I like the character's voice. And I'm interested in the trials and tribulations readers we will be seeing in later chapters. I can see why people have called it sad.
As far as mechanical writing goes, there are ALOT of run-on sentences. You'll need to go back and reread for those. Also, make sure that you don't get 'then' and 'than' confused. I once had this problem too. 'Then' refers to time. 'Than' refers to comparison. Usually, the phrase 'more than' is used for comparison, and, as thus, uses 'than.'
On to the next chapter!