Reviews for You're not Invisible
AvidWriter-92 chapter 1 . 7/22/2010
Hey! :) *waves*

I really liked this. :D

I think that your choice of words really helped convey the feeling of this poem to the reader. It made me think of a lonely or misunderstood person. :) I also liked how you used the metaphor of needing sound/music like a drug. I thought that it was cool, and pretty unique. :)

I liked how you closed the poem with several lines that were similiar to to the other lines above it. :) I always like it when writers do this, cause it makes the poem feel complete, somehow. :P

I love the word "smatters." :P It's like a mix of "smacks" and "splatters." (I'm learning about these portmanteaus from reading Alice in Wonderland. :P ;) )

My favorite line is "I hide in my room/ it is no sanctuary" and "radiating glazes, faces all alike. eyes to the screen. the forget to speak."

Both of those lines make the poem feel very creepy, and it's almost like if we don't have music, we fail to find beauty in anything at all. :)

The only suggestion that I have is maybe to have punctuation, and capitialization. (It just bugs me, personally, but it's up to you. :P) Oh, and if you hold the Shift key, and then the Enter key, it'll make single spaced lines, so you can make stanzas that way. :) Just a head's up. :P

That's all. :P Hope you like the crazy long review! Good job on this. :D

~Avid... :)