|Reviews for Broken Promises|
| StoryMonster chapter 1 . 11/24/2010
I love your flow, it's awesome...
The first line just captivates me.
I love it.
Your poetry is GREAT.
| xRayne wolfx chapter 1 . 10/4/2010
Very powerful :) Its so true about broken promises, but in a way- some promises stick through and through.. wonderful job
| ranDUMM chapter 1 . 8/4/2010
The concept of this poem is really awesome! I couldn't personally write about something like that figuratively (something I'm currently struggling with), but you wrote about it beautifully, and with talent. So well done!
The sentences themselves are a little awkwardly placed in some areas. For example;
- "One more step, I cross the bridge that connects between empty promises or enriching truth."
I'd expect something like that, in a poem, to be separated, and written on two different lines. This is mostly personal preference only, but there are a few sentences throughout that could be worded differently or placed somewhere else for a better effect.
What I love about this, is the words you particularly used to convey your message. For example;
- "I believe the false hope that had entangled me."
That is one of the lines that you should definitely not get rid of. It's a beautiful line, and is worded absolutely perfectly. I don't think that this sentence could convey the same message in the same way if it were written in any other way. :)
A wonderful poem, written beautifully, and from the heart. Well done, and keep writing!
| this wild abyss chapter 1 . 7/24/2010
A very nice, emotionally driven piece. I could feel the narrator's emotions as she recounts the scenario. Nicely done!
| to be someone else chapter 1 . 7/22/2010
...beautiful poem... The words are strong to be shown as an emotion. If that doesn't make sense, don't worry. I'm just saying I like it.