Reviews for Broken Promises
StoryMonster chapter 1 . 11/24/2010
Wow.

I love your flow, it's awesome...

The first line just captivates me.

I love it.

Your poetry is GREAT.
xRayne wolfx chapter 1 . 10/4/2010
Very powerful :) Its so true about broken promises, but in a way- some promises stick through and through.. wonderful job

Rayne
ranDUMM chapter 1 . 8/4/2010
Hey,

The concept of this poem is really awesome! I couldn't personally write about something like that figuratively (something I'm currently struggling with), but you wrote about it beautifully, and with talent. So well done!

The sentences themselves are a little awkwardly placed in some areas. For example;

- "One more step, I cross the bridge that connects between empty promises or enriching truth."

I'd expect something like that, in a poem, to be separated, and written on two different lines. This is mostly personal preference only, but there are a few sentences throughout that could be worded differently or placed somewhere else for a better effect.

What I love about this, is the words you particularly used to convey your message. For example;

- "I believe the false hope that had entangled me."

That is one of the lines that you should definitely not get rid of. It's a beautiful line, and is worded absolutely perfectly. I don't think that this sentence could convey the same message in the same way if it were written in any other way. :)

A wonderful poem, written beautifully, and from the heart. Well done, and keep writing!

ranDUMM
this wild abyss chapter 1 . 7/24/2010
A very nice, emotionally driven piece. I could feel the narrator's emotions as she recounts the scenario. Nicely done!
to be someone else chapter 1 . 7/22/2010
...beautiful poem... The words are strong to be shown as an emotion. If that doesn't make sense, don't worry. I'm just saying I like it.