|Reviews for The Flowering Dionaea|
| Oscillation chapter 6 . 8/6/2010
I love how you remain consistently good with your writing...
If that makes any sense.
I also like how, through the whole chapter the story was on the verge of a vampire love story, like Twilight, but how it always stayed on the edge and hasn't developed yet! Very interesting!
| AvidWriter-92 chapter 6 . 7/27/2010
Oh! I definitely like the tension here. :P It's starting to get complicated, I think, between Sirea and Raven and Ethan. I can see the beginnings of a love triangle forming. :D
Anyway, I really liked the beginning section with just Raven and Sirea. I thought that the dialogue was pretty cute, and I felt like they compliment each other very well. :D
I also liked the ending part with Ethan. :P It would be very hard for me if I was torn between doing what was right, and what I wanted to do... :( :P I also like how you never really say outright why the Bloodlust and her being a witch is a bad thing, you just let us infer it. :P
One thing that I would consider changing is this... I don't feel like the emotions between Ethan and Sirea are as strong as the forming relationship between Raven and her. You want us to side with Ethan and her, right? So, I would probably focus more on Ethan, and less on Raven, for the moment... :P maybe you could describe what he looks like more, or describe Sirea's hurt more? Cause it just feels a little out of the blue to me. :P
Otherwise, I thought that this was a great chapter! :D Keep it up! :)
P.S. I liked the little joke about Vegetarians. xP
| AvidWriter-92 chapter 5 . 7/27/2010
Hey. :) Yay, I liked this chapter too! :D
For some reason, I feel like you're getting to know your characters more, the more that you write... The story is a lot easier to read, or something like that. I can't quite put my tongue on it... :P It might just be me, tho. Lol.
Anyway. I really loved the description at the beginning of Raven's home. I could visualize it very well. :)
I also thought that Raven's speech thing about knowing Ethan's dad was pretty awesome too. I totally wasn't expecting that, but I suppose that it makes a lot more sense now. :) It kind of gave me a little background knowledge on the guy, which is always nice. :D
The spell casting thing was sweet! I hope that Ethan does regain his memories, and doesn't go on another killing spree... Although, writing that might be fun. ;P
| AvidWriter-92 chapter 4 . 7/27/2010
hey. :D I really, really liked this chapter. :D Things are just starting to make sense now... :P Hooray! ;D
I like how you describe things. It's pretty unique, I think. My favorite paragraphs were the ones closest to the bottom. I think that they described a lot of things, and Sirea's feelings very well. :)
Aww, how could she say no to Ethan? :P I certainly wouldn't. :) I'm definitely on Ethan's side; I would want to have my memories back, good or bad. They're a part of me. :)
I'm also very interested in this Bloodlust thing. It sounds like not every werewolf gets it, and Ethan was just an unlucky person to get it. :(
I also like Raven. :D He's quite the schemer. :P I kind of like the tension between him and Sirea. ;)
One thing that I would change is the part where Raven and Ethan are fighting, but you don't know that it's Ethan yet. You use the word "thing" a lot, and it gets pretty repetitive. You could switch it up a bit with other words, like "it," or use descriptions of what it looks like. :P I think that would help. :)
Good job on this chapter. :) It's my favorite one so far. :D
| Oscillation chapter 4 . 7/26/2010
Will there be more, soon? This is a great story, and I can't wait to read more!
| Oscillation chapter 2 . 7/26/2010
Good story! I love how you jump straight into it without much explanation. It really increases the level of curiosity and mystery in the story. (Which is why I couldn't post a review after the first chapter: I had to read more right away!) A very interesting setting; the flower shop is genius!
| AvidWriter-92 chapter 3 . 7/24/2010
I thought that this chapter was the best out of the three so far. :P
I liked how you encorporated different languages all mixed into one for the spells. :P
I also liked how described things more in depth, and it helped me see the picture of things happening in the story a bit clearer. :) I also like how you've written the last part, because I really have no idea what Blue and Sirea are refering to, but it makes me want to read more of the story to figure it out! :P
ooh. I like this Raven character. ;) He sounds... interesting to say the least. :P
The whole situation with Ethan "remembering" is also intriguing... Hm... I hope you post another chapter soon! I really do like this story. :D
One suggestion that I have is maybe make the transition between Sirea talking to Ethan, and then her racing to find Blue better? :/ I just think it's a bit too rushed, is all. :)
Other than that, nothing. :D
Great job! :)
| AvidWriter-92 chapter 2 . 7/24/2010
Ooh, I liked this chapter as well. :)
It's kind of funny how you introduce things so nonchalantly; like it's no big deal that they're witches. :P It's a nice change from the stories I usually read on here about fantasy creatures. :P
I loved the description of the shop. It was really unique, I thought, and I would definitely want to visit there. :P I think that you could maybe expand on it's history a bit, but other than that, no complaints. :P
Is this the story that you wrote, without dividing it up into chapters? Because I think you're doing a good job on dividing it up; it holds my attention, but it's not short enough where it feels... weird. :)
One thing I noticed... Before Blue counted the coins... You said that one of the coins would be worth a couple thousand dollars, but then when Blue counts it, she says that the total is around 5 grand. Just a heads up. :P
I like Blue; she seems like an interesting character... I'm trying to figure out what she is exactly. Is she a vampire, or a witch? Ah... :P
Good job on this one. :D I'm liking the story so far!
| AvidWriter-92 chapter 1 . 7/24/2010
Hey, Silver. ;)
I liked this first chapter a lot. The descriptions were great, I thought, and I also liked how you hinted at things, but didn't give them away. Suspense! :P I love it. :P
It makes me wonder what happened between the two of them, and why Sirea feels so hurt... Hmm. :)
I also thought that the reactions were realistic, as was the dialogue and descriptions. So, good job on that. :P Sometimes, when I read stories on here, they aren't realistic at all, and so I don't really want to read them. :P
Yay! I can't wait to read more. :P I can't find anything that needs fixin, so hooray for no edits! :P