|Reviews for Encounter|
| A Kiss in the Dreamhouse chapter 3 . 10/22/2010
Really exciting chapter with a fight scene!
Got to go now, I'll get around the reading the rest soon I hope!
| A Kiss in the Dreamhouse chapter 2 . 10/22/2010
Oh, I wonder what the gemstone signifies? Cool chapter!
| A Kiss in the Dreamhouse chapter 1 . 10/22/2010
Wow! That was a really original beginning! War, pregnancy, aliens...it had it all!
| Ann chapter 4 . 9/18/2010
uhm erwin gregory in tight black pants.. hahaha!
| Ann chapter 1 . 9/18/2010
ALIEN! Hehehe. Kokey is that you?
| Heather N.S chapter 4 . 9/10/2010
"Drip, Drip, Drip… The familiar sound of water falling on to the floor sounded familiar to Royce."
| Heather N.S chapter 3 . 9/10/2010
Good chapter! Your descriptions are good, but they can always use improvement so always be looking for ways to do that!
There were also several spelling and grammatical errors, but nothing to terribly huge, off to the next chapter! :)
| Heather N.S chapter 2 . 9/10/2010
Nice chapter! I'm SO glad you added this line in:
"Royce took a good look at his next victim. Charms' hair was short and black. Her bangs were carefully brushed to the side and the back of her hair curled up under her ears. She had a pair of Chinese-looking eyes and from where Royce was standing he could clearly see the hazel nut color of her eyes sparkled along the dark gloomy skies around them."
It's a beautiful line and I was going to say you need more description of what SHE looks like...maybe cut it from the end of the story and add it to when he first sees her, after he sees the stone, it just makes more sense that way.
Also when you have her yelling her schedule...it's too easy! And too unnatural! Talking to herself much less yelling to herself...and yelling her schedule just isn't right so maybe have him standing behind her, sneakily. Maybe there's a pillar conveniently positioned behind her off to the side so he can halfway hide, but also read her schedule over her shoulder.
Anyway that's it, off to read the next one! :)
| Heather N.S chapter 1 . 9/10/2010
Hi! Okay, first thing, in your line:
"The only light he could see were the huge shards of fire slowly engulfing what looked like a plane…"
I hope you did not mean an airplane? Because the first airplane wasn't built until 1903 and even though it's not much of a difference from 1899, I'm not sure that the Philippines would have had the technology yet even in 1903, so if that's what you mean by that you may want to think about changing your description or, more easily, changing the date on your story ;) Just a suggestion!
Also maybe try to find more adjectives for the word, "disc", it got kind of repetitive ;) Maybe use the word "craft" a couple times, find some adjectives for that one too :)
"He opened his mouth and strange out of this world sounds came out from it."
| Emji P chapter 1 . 8/14/2010
eep! Philippines! that totally hooked me. ]
-keep writing please?
| lissalee chapter 4 . 8/12/2010
thanks for the review.
i like this- it is certainly different from most other plots.
i want to see how it develops more. :)
| RawLove chapter 1 . 8/11/2010
Hey, thanks for your review on my story "Junkie" :D. I really really like this story - especially the time period and the atmosphere that it gives. I don't think I've ever seen a plot like this really, so I'll keep reading! :].
| noxonexhere chapter 3 . 8/1/2010
This is well written and pretty original. I like it :)
| M. T. Christen chapter 1 . 7/28/2010
i think you may want to realize that this being pretty much the beginning of the 1900's, 1899, you have to realize that planes weren't a big thing back then, and that also their maps weren't as detailed as our maps today. So Russia wouldn't be used immediately to think about some crazy scientific thing. It would merely be a marvel to people in the 1900's. The industrial revolution (I'm merely estimating since i'm not that smart) happened sometime around the 1920's when short skirts and ideas started to happen.
| WyldeLoneStar chapter 2 . 7/28/2010
This is an interesting story line. I'm curious to see how it plays out. :)