Aawwww! It's been ten months since you have updated this story! Are you going to continue? Did you get stuck? I know what that's like.

The story's interesting enough. I always have been quite taken with stories that star an independent sort of woman. I think I'll like quite a few of the characters, especially Isabelle, Mary, Andrew, and... his friend.

However, it seems that you're in love with commas; you use them excessively. Well, in this story at least. I don't recall seeing such a problem with "Grace's Gamble". I also think it unnecessary to be so repetitive with the descriptions, such as the beefiness of Mrs. Fairfield; it's fine to emphasize it indirectly, as you have done by saying she is constantly out of breath and such, but to directly do so more than once is just excessive.

Well, I'll be looking forward to the future chapters of this story. Keep writing!

- C.

Very good thus far! More! More!

Oh I absolutely adore this story! Though I will be quite sad if she does not end up with Andrew.

I hope for your inspiration.

Sincerely,

Aya Marie

Good start, look forward to the next update

I can't understand why Andrew hasn't considered the notion that he and Isabelle could make a good match, since he values women of intellectual substance, which he seems to think she possesses. I wonder if Kendrick will take a shine to Isabelle and Andrew will only then realise that he likes her, too... I do love a love triangle ;)

I'm glad to see that Isabelle's in good hands. I am a bit curious about Lady Thorpe - why did she stop attending social functions?

I look forward to reading the next chapter!

I have to say, I feel a little sorry for Rupert. What a mother... Does he even want to marry Isabelle, or is it all just a ploy to fatten Mrs Fairfield's wallet?

I get the sense that something's up with Andrew as well. Not something bad, necessarily, but ... something. It's a little tricky at this poitn to work out his agenda. He sure went well out of his way to help her out - chivalrous, but overly so? What could she help him with? His comment about presenting her to society so she can start looking for a husband intrigues me the most.

I would suggest that you keep an eye on your use of present and past tense, however. This paragraph in particular jumped back and forth a few times:

"Mr Foxborough nodded and led them back inside to his chambers. There is one thing Andrew cannot stand about human nature and that is selfish, greedy people who took advantage of vulnerable, young women. Her aunt had been placed in a position of authority and she had blatantly abused it, he judged by what Isabelle had said that she did not care for her niece at all. Although he did not mention it, he had heard rumours to that effect, but had thought them just that, rumours. Now, he finds out they are in fact, true."

It can be an easy thing to miss when writing, but I personally find it a bit of jolt as a reader. Reading the chapter aloud is an easy way to catch it, I find.

Good job! Things are certainly getting interesting!

Hah! I knew Isabelle and Andrew would meet again! But why is Andrew visiting a solicitor? Or does he have some personal connection to Mr Foxborough? I'm finding Andrew to be a very likable character. The scene with him at the inn was quite charming, and the backstory about his relationship with his parents and aunt was interesting; however, I think some of it could be condensed. The conversation with the landlady and the paragraph narrating him getting ready for bed are nice, but, in my opinion, a little mundane and don't do much to keep the story moving forward (unless the landlady is coming back in later chapters and the exchange is important).

I do hope that Mr Foxborough gives Mrs Fairfield the talking-to she deserves! But even if he does lay down the law, I can't imagine that she'll give up easily.

I'm enjoying reading this story very much :)

I really like your opening sentence :) Isabelle sounds like she's going to be a great character - indepedent, intelligent and (I'm guessing) liable to run into all sorts of obstacles that will provide wonderful conflict-filled future chapters! I can't help but think this won't be the last she sees of Andrew Thorpe...

Mrs Fairfield comes across as a nasty piece of work... (Although is her name actually Francis, as opposed to Frances? As far as I know, the former is the masculine version.) Just a minor critique - although the descriptions relating to her weight are very amusing, to me it felt that there were so many references to her being fat that it turned into overkill.

Onto the next chapter! :)

Another story that piques my interest :)! Mr. Foxborough reappears! Who were Isabelle's parents? Was Andrew her father? What happened? I don't want his character to have been killed off! Btw, I love that you are updating this story as frequently as The Whims of Adelaide!

Very nice so far, oh but I do hate MRS. Fairfield.

"That is the name of my ladies maid at Denby Manor," she replied sheepishly. ~~Simply 'my maid'.

"That is them," she cried, crestfallen. ~~Technically, 'That is they' is correct.((Deluxe Transitive Vampire; 1993; page 90)) That may sound awkward, so go for 'they're here?' or something similar, which is not only correct but also easier on the ear.

**"No, thank you," she replied. "I am quite sure our destinations are vastly different," she replied.** You need only one 'she replied'. "No, thank you," she replied. "I am quite sure our destinations are vastly different." OR "No, thank you. I am quite sure our destinations are vastly different," she replied. ~~Also, there is nothing wrong with a simple 'said'.

'...only child of the late, Earl of Denby and to behave accordingly.' Drop the comma here: 'late Earl'.

'Even though his clothing looked old, they were extremely well cut...' Awkward pronoun. 'his clothes' would take 'they' as a pronoun, but 'clothing' should have an 'it'.

'...heavy oak doors hung of their hinges..' Off? 'hung of' makes no sense here.

'...he had his reason's,...' Simple plurals take s, not 's. One reason, two reasons.

'Her eyelids closed, hiding from view, her crystalline, sapphire blue eyes.' ~~Omit the second comma: Her eyelids closed, hiding from view her crystalline, sapphire blue eyes. ~~I think 'crystalline' and its comma could go too: Her eyelids closed, hiding from view her sapphire blue eyes.

'There was no other male heir close enough to the old Earl for him to bequeath his estate to, so he found himself forced to leave it to her son. However, he had made provisions in his will for his daughter to survive on her own, if she found herself in need of it. Unfortunately, the law of succession went through the male line; otherwise, Isabelle would have inherited it instead.' ~~Speaking only of historic English titles, and assuming you have not invented your private system: Titles, being the gift of the crown, come with conditions. These conditions, called entails, generally force the title down the male line. There is no option or choice, just descent, and no current holder can change that. The late Earl could not arrange for I. to inherit the title or the entailed fortune/lands. However, any unentailed wealth, and sometimes this was by far the greater fortune, could be left as the owner wished. What part, if any, of the late Earl's fortune was unentailed? Did the late Earl leave a will? If he did, what were his bequests to his daughter?

I've enjoyed this story as well so far and can not wait to read more of it.

hey this sounds like a good story so far keep it up i cant wait for more