Reviews for Answering Machine
HiddenFromYou chapter 1 . 8/23/2010
This is the first long piece of yours I've read, and although there is power here, there are a few things that detract from that power.

First off, the short lines make the poem seem choppy. I imagine the lines spoken, but the constant new lines are making pauses where there obviously should be pauses. Maybe have a single spoken sentence on one line and so on?

I liked the repeition of the answering machine messege up until the 6th time I read it. You have it 13 times, which I feel is far too many. The repetition of 'Call me' was also a little off-putting. Try putting some of the parts together?

With these two things, the power of the line "I miss you" is severly diminished.
Cirque de la Lune chapter 1 . 7/26/2010
I love this. A lot. C:
xoxlizzie chapter 1 . 7/25/2010
Oh, I really liked it, it was cute!