Reviews for Beautiful Lies
HiddenFromYou chapter 1 . 8/23/2010
This was an interesting piece. I'm noticing a theme throughout the few pieces of your work I've read so far, but you once again present a unique twist. "come to lay claim to the crown" was an unexpected turn, and it made me think about where you wre coming from and what emotion you were aiming to convey.

The alliteration you use (you are different. Dishonest and defenseive) is used just the right amount. Not too much, so we drown in it and not too little so we don't notice it.

One little mistake, "No one is a perfect" - Should be 'as'?
wo bu ai ni le chapter 1 . 8/2/2010
A minor point: it should be 'no-one' rather than 'no one'.

But anyway I really like this poem, the tone changes from adoring to resentful and completely bitter, it seems to be frustration mixed with awe.

Another thing which I'm not sure you intended, but when I first read 'beautiful lies' in my head I heard 'beautiful eyes' instead :) Makes it wonderfully ambiguous as to whether she is lying or simply alluring.

A great piece for such a short length!