Reviews for Twisted Logic
SwItChbyBLoOd chapter 3 . 12/14/2011
I love your poems. They really speak to me. I especially find chapter 3's poem very special. I can relate to it very well.
Q75 chapter 2 . 10/30/2011
Hi! I love these poems. You have a very good control over words. I love the fact you used three areas:

1/ describing your emotional torment (thoughts).

2/ describing your physical torment.

3/ describing in an abstract manner by using metaphors.

to describe a 'fall from grace' where you lose and question faith. Very powerful.

But I think it would have made a greater impact if you began with the physical torment. then the description of metaphors and then then the questioning. That would've made it feel more of a reflex arc. y'know?

but overall. I like this. :)
Katerzzz chapter 3 . 5/24/2011
Heyy :)

Since you haven't updated RFTA for a while, I decided I needed to read something of yours to keep myself sane :D

I really enjoyed this, it really reminds me of Auden, not sure why, just the way it's written. But it's beautiful and really nice for me to go to bed to. I absolutely loved it :) Updated RFTA soon!


~Your review buddy!

~Could you take a look at E & A Chapter 3? Please? Ta! :)
Splash Where Tear Drops chapter 1 . 4/5/2011
Good poem! One of the lines relates to me.

"I give and give, yet get nothing back". I honestly do.

A mistake I noticed:

"I try to shed light

onto your gruesome situation" - Instead of "onto", just put "on" beacause it makes more sense there.

Happy writing! ;D

dragonflydreamer chapter 5 . 3/20/2011
I love the whole metaphor you've constructed here. You don't just start it and drop it-you pick out so many details, like the struggles of living "on the road," the cold, etc. It strengthens the parallels you're drawing and also the emotions you're reaching at.

I like the ending, too. It's an optimistic turn that I wasn't expecting. I wish there was more development around the switch, though. It felt simple to say "a new horizon breaks" without showing any struggle of reaching that.

Very nice collection. I hope you decide to write more poetry :)

~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
dragonflydreamer chapter 4 . 3/20/2011
[Now, you're heart belongs to another woman] you're your

I like the emboldened words. They really punch out, helping with both the emotional effect and the rhythm.

Again, great tone. It's very strong and venomous. Even though the words are upset, this assures the reader that this is all said in anger with a lot of strength; this person is not weak after heartbreak.

My favorite stanza was the third-great descriptive words, and I could practically feel what you were describing. I wish you had done more with the first stanza, though. There wasn't anything wrong with it, per say, but the descriptions were very ordinary.
dragonflydreamer chapter 3 . 3/20/2011
[than you and I are going to be] than then

I like the tone of this. Even though a lot of your wording is lighthearted-you title is even "Flutter"-the tone remains serious and plays much more at the confusion linked to liking your friend.

Speaking of that, I like what you did to the subject. It's something that a lot of people have experienced, but most poems I've read on it fall flat. You really capture the emotions, especially in the way you focus on traits and then reflect on them. Nice job!
dragonflydreamer chapter 2 . 3/20/2011
I love the lines that are in bold. They're like the pure emotional lines and get right to the heart of the piece.

I don't like how you use all three formats, though. It's distracting visually, but I could probably get past that. My problems is that they're speaking from different perspectives. For a poem of this length, you're trying to say too much, and it just became confusing to me.

I do like individual descriptions. Good word choice and interesting images. I wish I could have enjoyed this more coherently as a whole.
dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 3/20/2011
I love how you interweave dialogue into this. It gives it an interesting back-and-forth feel and also creates a story throughout this.

I also like the emotions of this. They're powerful, borderlining on angst, but it's a unique subject, which I find very intriguing. "I need you more than/you need me" and "For my sake, please/survive" were my favorite lines. They really captured this emotion well.

Suggestion-wise, I'd try to tighten up some of your wording, especially around three-quarters of the way through. Make sure every word is really packing a punch, pay attention to the rhythm, etc. It's good how it is, but a little more attention could make it great.

~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
Katerzzz chapter 2 . 2/8/2011
Me again! Want to finish reading these cos the last one was SO good! :)

You seriously are a brilliant writer can I say? And can I shove four reviews into one? Cos I am :D

All four were beautifully powerful, epic poems with real imagery, not nessecarily of places but of what you describe, you cant always imagine stuff like that but your talent makes it all seem so damn real! All four of these poems are absolutely fantastico and really showcase your talent as both a poet and a writer :) A very rare gift if you ask me :) Absolutely brilliant. All four of them.

I think I now have reviewed all of your work :) You must get me more to review :)


P.S. Could you repay these 4 reviews (or however many you wish to leave)by taking a look at The Angel? Ta!
Katerzzz chapter 1 . 2/6/2011
Hello I felt the need to review something of yours and I seem to have reviewed everything else :)

Very powerful poem, and I don't usually like poetry, the way you capture everything...truly incredible, its like your almost there :D I loved it :)


P.S: Could you be really nice and take a look of the newly updated The Lone Wolf? Please? Thanks!
NVR chapter 3 . 1/16/2011
Your poems are AMAZING. You just take the reader away on your poem. I love it. It's awesome. I want more. You've made my day great. Hopefully you can add some more poems!

NVR chapter 2 . 1/16/2011
All these are SO POWERFUL. You must have taken a long time to make this poems with all the detail you put into them. Moving on. I love them. I wish I could write as good as you!

NVR chapter 1 . 1/16/2011
Wow! That is so powerful! I love it. Those describing words make you want to read on and on, and go into your world. Moving on to next chapter. It's AWESOME!

G.M.Smith chapter 2 . 12/17/2010
ya I liked a dance with demons, it reminds me of a lot of poems I've written myself, the idea of something taking over or something trying to consume completely and entirely.
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