|Reviews for Mythtery Detectives: Book 1 The Minotaur Mystery|
| Aderyn Azula chapter 1 . 8/2/2010
I'm here with a quick review from the Review Game ]
Ok- so I liked the set up of "typical detective story" with a twist. Your characters are memorable and I love how Sammy mentions "written lisp" Already, this sounds like a good start. I also like the pun on Mythery/Mystery - it's cute!
| Charming Dice chapter 1 . 7/29/2010
Clever ending. Made me smile, the whole Mythery thing. This is a silly, well-written chapter.
A small note. I noticed something off about your otherwise smooth writing. Its your speech tags, before and/or after dialogue. Here's an example:
- "No it's not," his smile broadened.
With sentences like this, the comma should be changed to a period & 'his' should be capitalized, since 'His smile broadened' is a sentence on its own. And his smile broadening has nothing to do with him speaking. If you had put this . . .
- "No it's not," he said, as his smile broadened.
. . . Then the comma & lack of capitalization would be fine, since 'he said' is a continuation of the sentence in the quotation marks. For the record, the sentence is better your way, aside from the little issues I mentioned.
Hope I explained that well enough. I saw that kind of thing a couple of times in this chapter, so I figured either it was a mistake or you didn't know it wasn't right.
Of course, since you're not from the same country as me if I remember right, things like that might be done different where you are. If so, ignore all of this.
Regardless, this was a fun read. A great story for kids so far (both little ones and adult ones like me).
Oh, and welcome back, bro. aka Meteor-Infinity forever, right?