Reviews for Marble Eyes
angrylove888 chapter 10 . 1/20/2013
I have to say... I still love the way I ended this.
Aiarada Alyan chapter 1 . 2/16/2011
Great work - I like your original view on the way eyes look and what they mean. It made me think of Romeo and Juliet, the way they talk about their eyes, but they say that each eye is a single star. I liked that you contradicted that, and I agree with you. The way that eyes are linked to love is also interesting - the poem ended up being both uplifting and sad at the same time. I'm not sure I understand why there are so many line breaks, though. I think it could be more effective with longer lines. Other than that, wonderful job!
I Am The Masquerade chapter 10 . 8/11/2010
A couple of wonderful chapters. Really powerful. The ending of this one made my mouth hang upon. The whole basis of the story was about his eyes, and suddenly she finds out they were fake. That's a kick to the stomach if I ever saw one. Good job.

I Am The Masquerade chapter 9 . 8/7/2010
Very nice. I like how disjointed this story is. All the twists, turns, and random tangents really give it an edge.

I Am The Masquerade chapter 8 . 8/6/2010
Dear God. I LOVED THIS CHAPTER ! ! ! It is most certainly in my top three favorites of your work. Great job, please update soon.

I Am The Masquerade chapter 7 . 8/6/2010
Very well-written.

I Am The Masquerade chapter 6 . 7/31/2010
I love the last line. It was just perfect. A great way to end the chapter. I can't wait for more.

I Am The Masquerade chapter 5 . 7/31/2010
Another great chapter. I love your imagery.

I Am The Masquerade chapter 4 . 7/31/2010
This chapter made me both smile and feel a bit creeped out. I congratulate you for being able to achieve both.


PS: I actually didn't notice that, though I did find it odd that you were capitalizing them. What is the significance?
Cheeseraptor5 chapter 3 . 7/31/2010
The imagery you've created - without even trying, it seems like - was particularly striking here. I honestly can't put my finger right on it, but I suppose the stream-of-consciousness style of narration really sucked me into your metaphors. Looking forward to seeing more.
I Am The Masquerade chapter 3 . 7/30/2010
Raw, poetic beauty. I must say that this is rapidly becoming one of my favorite stories on this site. You have a power concerning poetry that many (myself included) could never hope to possess. Keep up the great work, and please update soon.


PS: I'll be calling you about Sunday sometime tomorrow so look out for my call.
I Am The Masquerade chapter 2 . 7/30/2010
I actually thought that this was another one-shot poem, and I'm really glad that it turns out that it isn't. I was pleasantly surprised by the magic of the first chapter, and though I appreciate it more than this second chapter, I am still eagerly moving on to the next one.

I Am The Masquerade chapter 1 . 7/30/2010
Well hell. That was freaking amazing my friend. I must say that your creativity and imagination apparently knows no bounds. I'm looking forward to more in the future.

i collect lullabies chapter 1 . 7/29/2010
I enjoyed reading this because it sucked me in from the very first line. I related to it and automatically wanted to read more. I like it a lot.
kunoichi-socks chapter 1 . 7/29/2010
To me this seemed to be more of a stream of thought than a poem, which I liked because there was a very clear voice speaking throughout the piece. This almost feels like the prologue to a story you could write about a girl who thinks she doesn't have marble eyes until someone tells her she does or something like that. I think you might be able to create a brilliant story surrounding it, but it's just a suggestion P Either way, I really liked it! I loved the whole concept of marble eyes and the images you created. Very well done!

- Kat