|Reviews for Apparitons|
| ZyggyGirl chapter 14 . 9/10/2010
Wha...what? I loved it...but I'm completely bewildered! I think I got it? Well done, though!
| ZyggyGirl chapter 12 . 9/10/2010
Ooh, got a little chill at the end.
Mary and Christine are almost polar opposites, it seems. One is faithful and open-minded in spite of her hardships, the other is cynical and hard-headed.
Also, this is the best line I've read in a long time: "I will throw rocks at them!"
I can just see him delivering that line in such a deadpan, solemn way...
| ZyggyGirl chapter 11 . 9/3/2010
1.3: 'she recalled the last events before she came to wakeup' wakeup should be two words.
2: 'That odd young man who kept staring at her, had found both' Omit comma.
3: 'Mrs. Daae saw her daughter laying, wrapped in a cloth that matched hers' Consider changing to 'Mrs. Daae saw her daughter lying there, wrapped in a cloth that matched hers'
5.2: 'Instruments made for hands far larger that any human' Consider revising to 'Instruments made for hands far larger than those of any human'
6: 'Where is everyone?" her voice growing more shrill' Change 'growing' to 'grew' and capitalize 'her'
I'm seeing little bits of your personality and experience throughout this. Another great chapter!
| ZyggyGirl chapter 9 . 8/23/2010
I couldn't help but laugh at the line, "a quiet life shared with the woman he loved so completely." I get the impression he loves Christine a bit, too. And maybe even Mary.
Hehe, nothing like going out with a bang. I very much like Erich now.
| ZyggyGirl chapter 8 . 8/23/2010
You've done a great job of capturing Mary's POV in a realistic way. Hmm, Callie, Christine, and Mary? All I can say is poor Erich, once again. I kinda want to hug him or do something to make him feel better.
Your punctuation, spelling, and overall grammar is getting much better, but there were a few of run-on sentences. Consider breaking up some of the longer sentences.
| Twisted Skys chapter 14 . 8/16/2010
Guah? It's over? No! It was so good, I'll have to go read again. Sequel? Please? Follow up in another story? Please?
| Twisted Skys chapter 13 . 8/15/2010
Ah! Poor Erich! His poor arm!
Looking at Mary's internal conflict was an interesting insight into her character. Her love for Erich and her faith was warming.
Awaiting ever patiently, as a loyal reader, I will await for the next midnight update! This is getting really exciting!
| ZyggyGirl chapter 7 . 8/14/2010
I'm liking Erich more and more. In spite of being disillusioned and about to become a pawn for a slightly bitter woman, he's kind of charming with his protectiveness.
Poor Mary. Justifying her intentions...that won't lead to anything good, I'm sure.
This was a very well-written, captivating chapter. Notice that I'm not being a human spell-checker?
| Twisted Skys chapter 12 . 8/14/2010
Gah! Not fair! Another cliffhanger type ending. Poor, insane Erich. I still thinks he needs hugz!
| ZyggyGirl chapter 6 . 8/13/2010
'Mrs. Daae wanted to bean him with the nearest heavy object...' Bravo, Christine!
For some reason, Vicomte keeps making me think 'vomit'. Gee, wonder why...
A bit of advice: when someone ends a sentence with a name of some sort, there should be a comma before it. Example: 'Of course not Mr. Vicomte.' should be 'Of course not, Mr. Vicomte.'
Ah, finally, some Earthly heroes. I think I see where you're going with this.
| Twisted Skys chapter 11 . 8/13/2010
Ahah! 'Biggest fan' and 'Fee fie fo fum' had me laughing really hard. Poor Erich
Thank you for updating so quickly. I'm sorry I couldn't give you a better review, my brain is being fried by chef pooch and the sleep walking neighbor... XD
| Twisted Skys chapter 10 . 8/12/2010
It's hard for me to get attatched to people's characters, even my own sometimes. But that was... Guah! I almost started crying... o (i actually did cry, and have butterflies as she was about to find out, it was rather amazing...)
That was so epic in it's beauty. It's okay for your head to swell, I simply cannot stop reading this story.
I have gone and looked at the other stories in your account but between this, my own stories (aka: fun work), and general life, I barley have time to sleep. But I will go and check them all out as soon as I find the time. Do they have any order, or does it not matter?
And so now I will go back and reread this chapter, just because it needs another look through (even though I should be doing the afore mentioned work...).
| ZyggyGirl chapter 5 . 8/11/2010
12: 'exposing his scared face to his new companion.' 'scared' should be 'scarred.'
Ooh, what'll happen when Mary finds out about the corpses, I wonder?
| ZyggyGirl chapter 4 . 8/11/2010
3: 'They wanted to…," Omit comma.
4: 'You have my word no one will hurt you let alone the Martians.' I think there should be a comma between 'word' and 'no'. Also, between 'you' and 'let'.
19: 'I am quiet different from you.' Quiet should be 'quite'.
32: Again, 'quiet' should be 'quite'.
37: 'as her natural curiosity was peeked.' 'peeked' should be 'piqued'.
There's some interesting chemistry between Erich and Mary. It is almost like King Kong, only the ape is a little gentler.
| Twisted Skys chapter 9 . 8/11/2010
*flails wildly* Gack! That was as bad as a cliffhanger! Now I really want to hug Erich! Soon? Please? This is killing in it's greatness.
I don't get this excited about stories, but this one makes me squee. I get so excited when you update, you have no idea. Now I must go speculate for the next chapter, and wait impaciently...