|Reviews for No Words|
| rchll chapter 1 . 10/8
This was such an interesting piece. I find your treatment slightly ironic given the location of this story! I love how you described how the shopkeeper was challenging you...the whole bit with the piece of paper. Brilliant. There are a few run-on sentences here - try reading some of the longer lines out loud and you'll find that they are a bit bumpy. I thought you ended this story well. Btw, the writing is very natural (I know you wrote this a while ago, still reassurance is nice nonetheless)!
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 11/27/2010
"only three storeys high"... stories
"Cantonese radio channel was blared over speakers inside the mall."... either "channel was blaring" or "channel blared"
I really like this piece. Your descriptions are beautiful. The way describe the sky and the apartments were wonderful. I also like the whole paper thing. It's a great image and the way you carried it out through the end of the piece was really great. But, my favorite part was the cocktail that was such a perfect description of what the person was feeling and written so well too. I also really liked the story here. You really felt for the narrator, but it also made an interesting point about how people judge people and discriminate against people.
PS Check out the Review Game and/or it's Review Marathon (links in my profile!)
| el starry chapter 1 . 8/1/2010
i really enjoyed reading this. i like the way your writing flows and once i began, i wanted to keep going to see where you would take it.
| KMith chapter 1 . 8/1/2010
I can definitely tell that you wrote this without a struggle! It really comes through. I totally cringed at the painful parts. I'm jealous of this story... you capture the subtle emotions of such a scene effortlessly, without any gushy, flowery language. It's REAL. Nicely done! :)