|Reviews for She Herself: as in Ancestors Anchored|
| Sercus Kaynine chapter 1 . 8/10/2010
There was a ton of alliteration in this that I adored. (I forget if I've said this about your other WCC pieces or not... either way it was lovely). Your poems always flow so gracefully. It's very charming, in this one especially.
Good job and good luck in WCC!
| Adrenalin chapter 1 . 8/8/2010
Ok, first thing out: I'm plain bad at reviewing poetry. I like reading it but the subtleties just fly way above my head.
Your imagery is really beautiful, and you don't use those over-lyrical phrasings that makes me shudder.
I'm always a little surprised by sudden interruptions of sentences, which you seem to do often. The particular spacing of the second part, with the sentences cut in the middle, offered a very strange rythm. I felt like the watching narrators were a little breathless because of the smoke, or just because of the adrenaline of the shock.
The first stanza of the third part was my favorite because I loved the description of the character. But my favorite line has to be 'mingling tinkling tocks of the same self made clock –' because of the sound of it.
Great job & good luck on the WCC.
| ArekuKawaii chapter 1 . 8/7/2010
'she herself is a gang plank' The fact that you used gang plank really caught my attention and it is really good to catch attention in the first few words. It made me picture a giant pirate ship docking as well as a girl being walked all over and being insecure. It was quite the image to open this poem for me.
The use of 'archival' and 'goddesses' in the same stanza really stood out for me because they are such powerful words that aren't used often enough or in the right fashion. I know goddesses are used often, but they way you used it seemed so perfect and unique.
'as ghosts making love in the attic of the cold house' I really enjoyed that line because it made me think of all the scary noises that happen in my house when I sleep and it gave me a more amusing thought about them.
I really enjoy the way each word brings a different thought into my head and a whole new picture is developed with each line. I was drawn to read the entire thing a few times to see what new images would form in my head as I examined your piece.
The poem flowed really well but the line that stood out with the most flow was 'mingling tinkling tocks of the same self made clock –' I was really impressed as to how this line just rolled out as I read it. It made me imagine all the ticking sounds of a clock and an antique store waiting to be discovered.
I liked and disliked the fact that the poem started and ended with the same line because it brought the entire thing together and made it flow but it seemed too rounded to me. (if that makes sense...)
I love your use of commas and dashes in this poem because you know exactly where they need to go in order for your poems to be perfect. Your semi colon use also made me happy because I love when someone knows how to use them without over using them or using them because they want to be 'artistic'.
| Cynthia M chapter 1 . 8/7/2010
Hey there. I love the diction of this poem. Very unique, and it flows nicely. I love all the lines, and overall this poem is amazing.
My only suggestion has to do with spacing. How you organized your stanzas made it harder to read, so I suggest fixing that. It's only a suggestion though.
Even if you don't do that, it's still a great poem. Keep up the good work :)
| YasuRan chapter 1 . 8/7/2010
As is the case with you, brilliant job well done. I actually love how you created new words to suit your imagery whereas similar substitutes would have failed in retrospect. I don't think I could have that much courage to do so.
A wealth of meaning to be derived from each line. At first, I wondered if the 'church' was a symbol of the past, perhaps the self-made sanctity of the female subject. Then, I considered whether it could be the woman herself, 'burning' in a demise of sorts? Whatever it means, the feeling was hauntingly portrayed. The run-on sentences did prove to be a challenge throughout but I like my poetry complex and thought provoking anyway :). Which is way more than I can say for my own.
Well done, Juliet.
| C. Tattiana H-H chapter 1 . 8/6/2010
And once again you leave me stunned.
Your writing is really quite impressive. I don't know how you do it; you're always the first to submit your pieces and they're always top notch.
Holy, geeze, lady. I love how you begin and end the same way. It's a wonderful style to use and I love to see writers pulling it off brilliantly.
The imagery throughout this was so imaginative. You have such a beautiful way with words that leave me near speechless (which makes reviewing you quite difficult. Ha-ha).
There are so many amazing ones to choose from, but I think if I had to, my favourite line would have to be, "become statues of lovers long since lost to those same/mingling tinkling tocks of the same self made clock -"
I just think it's such a fantastic part. Alliteration/assonance aside, the subtle rhyming had me going nuts. There are other parts in this piece where there are subtle rhymes that I adore, but I think these two lines were my favourite.
Excellent job, yet again, and best of luck in this month's WCC!
| Aderyn Azula chapter 1 . 8/5/2010
wow! this was really good! you use *amazing* descriptions!
I love the dark and eerie nature of the poem- it's very halloween-y
I do think that some of the breaks in the poem are awkward- just don't make them so very abrupt
but otherwise- very, very nice poem!
| nickyO chapter 1 . 8/3/2010
You've really been on a roll, Faithless Juliet :)
I had to read this twice and I feel I might have to read it several times more before I pick up on all the wonderful things you have going on in this poem. Deft word usage and alliteration and the whole thing flows so nicely. Love the gang plank image.
Love this line:
"mingling tinkling tocks of the same self made clock" –