|Reviews for Couldn't Resist|
| Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 8/6/2010
FLOW: I really liked the repetition of the overall note of the poem – about having to resist yet being unable to. You form strong connections to that idea throughout and it made me think that the subject of the piece was continually going over that idealism in their minds, as if going over the facts letter which to me enhanced the regret of the piece – although, having said regret, I didn’t get a sense that the subject was sorry for what was done, more of the outcome to their actions and so on.
WORD CHOICE: This is a very down to the earth type of poem. The narration is journalistically expressive, definitely confessional poetry if I had to place it into a category. In terms of expressionism, you definitely set a scene simply, and I think that if you had tried to overdo it with the detail you would have lost the point so good job with that. The whole poem has a very youthful air to it, in part from descriptions of things like ‘school’ but it didn’t seem juvenile to me either.
FORM: I both like and dislike this aspect of the poem. I liked the short rhyming couplets that you used, but some of your verses split off into the next line a little awkwardly, for example: “he'd made it clear/
i wasn't there..” when I first read that your ending of CLEAR sounded fine to end that thought, yet it continued with the rest of the sentence below it, so it was a bit distracting, however: “part of his life/
for the long-term…” worked fine, so it wasn’t a problem throughout just that initial issue that I think could be improved upon.
ENJOYMENT: There’s truly a since of regret in this piece, which I stated about, and in terms of displaying the emotions without actually spelling them out, you did a good job. You leave the piece open a bit to let the reader forms their own conclusions, which I also enjoyed, and even though you only go into the perspective of the subject and not the other party in the relationship I can tell that it’s a complicated situation, and not as cut and dry as other writers might have expressed it. Overall nicely done, keep up the good work.
| 4tehlessthan3of0scoreintennis chapter 1 . 8/3/2010
I know how you feel.
| Random-Idiocity chapter 1 . 8/1/2010
This was very good, & we've all made mistakes. Keep it Up!