Reviews for Beast Syndrome
Emile Amadare chapter 15 . 5/16/2011
lol you review whore xD I loved the chapter (still desperately waiting for some real romance...). I love the drama, and sure this part may have been a little rushed but you aren't rushing the rest of their relationship like I would end up doing. As for mistakes, I didn't notice anything except a few missing quotations marks.
brightsun89 chapter 15 . 5/16/2011
I love it! poor sean! are you going to update soon? please do!
Emile Amadare chapter 14 . 3/22/2011
Going too fast? You should read MY stories! By chapter 14, my stories are coming to a climax. DX You're a very good author, at least in my opinion and compared to me. :] Great chapter.

I thought I should maybe start helping out authors by pointing out some mistakes in the writing. I'm not going to critique, because I'm not a literature nazi and really shouldn't be critiquing when my writing sucks, I'm just going to point out things like puncuation or missing/reapeated words and verb tense mess-ups. :]

Here are some things I caught in this chapter:

"Would you go further." - "Would you go further[?]"

"I think uncle is gonna start getting worried." - "I think [my] uncle is gonna start getting worried."

my uncle[']s voice echoed from downstairs. - my uncle[']s voice echoed from downstairs.

" you anything about Beast Syndrom at all?" - " you [know] anything about Beast Syndrom at all?"

I was glad he could tell it was something I wanted to talk about. - I was glad he could tell it was something I [didn't want] to talk about.

" you understand." - " you understand[?]"

Colin pauses and looks at me seriously. - Coline [paused] and [looked] at me seriously.
brightsun89 chapter 14 . 3/20/2011
love it! Im so happy you updated!
Emile Amadare chapter 13 . 1/18/2011

You make the relationship-building so long. GRR. But I guess that's a good thing. Unlike with me, how I make my characters fall in love and get together just like BANG. .

This chapter seemed to move fast compared to your usual writing... I'm the LAST person who should be critisizing that, but it's just something I noticed.

Anyway, can't wait for the next chapter.

Each time they kiss and act like nothing happened, I wanna smack 'em.
brightsun89 chapter 13 . 1/14/2011
lol love it! poor dante and sean! please update soon!
brightsun89 chapter 12 . 12/21/2010
love it! please update soon!
Emile Amadare chapter 12 . 12/20/2010
Great chapter (as always)! You do well at not going to fast and making it interesting. You don't want it to be too sally or fake? Hahahahahaha *sweatdrop*...I bet my writing is, very. But I live it none the less.
Emile Amadare chapter 11 . 12/1/2010
Damn. I wish I had your patience and ability to write with detail... Well, I get my laptop this month, so I'll get to start writing again! Anyway, good work, as always.
Barbie Hall chapter 10 . 11/4/2010
languor chapter 10 . 11/2/2010
This has been such an intriguing and well-developed read so far! Great writing, can't wait to see where this story goes!
Emile Amadare chapter 10 . 11/1/2010
Yay, I've been craving some fictionpress updates! Great chapter, as always. Can't wait for some romance...
Barbie Hall chapter 9 . 9/30/2010
Another great chapter! Update very soon! :D
Reading Kiwi chapter 9 . 9/28/2010
this story is pretty awesome i can't wait until your next update

-Kiwi out
Emile Amadare chapter 9 . 9/27/2010
Ahaha finally there is the WA comparison! Great detail! And yes,long, especially after reading a bunch of stuff about religion and conspiracy theory... x.x my brain needs a break.
79 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 .. Last Next »