|Reviews for Edward Dunnaway, Paranormal Investigator|
| Jave Harron chapter 1 . 10/9/2012
Okay, as a sucker for pulp serials, you have my interest. The characters seemed fairly solid in dialogue and action, although I do have a few issues. There's a lot of dialogue, and quite a bit of telling, rather than showing. Still, a solid effort.
| UNoUCanDoBetter chapter 2 . 3/25/2011
Your characters are well-formed and your plot engaging. Your grammar is nearly impeccable, which is the most mere mortals can hope to attain alone, and your world is well-built. I do feel, however, that there are some subjects you seem slightly ignorant of. I understand it is difficult to write in a historical context, but some parts feel off in a way that makes me think you may not have researched adequately. I also think the horse's behavior is highly unorthodox; in fact, your equine characters are not well-characterized or even named. Is the horse flighty? Gentle? Powerful? Queer? Does he have speed or stamina, or both? Is he sleek, or rugged? Jumper-build or runner-build, or even prancy-nobleman-build? And why did the horse faint? Horses flee when confronted with danger; they're not like humans and they're not big dogs, either. When the demon dog let it go, why didn't the horse just run for its life, as any such prey animal would? I love where you're going so far, but I think you should read up on your time period and equine behavior-even cursory knowledge could go a long way.
| Venorik chapter 5 . 9/17/2010
Great story. I really enjoyed reading it so far and i hope the next chapters will be even more interesting. The writing is great and the plot is even better. The basic idea of all the paranormal creatures, like Brownies, trolls and the other creatures in our boring simple world is very appealing to me. Keep up the good work, i'll be looking forward to your next chapter!
| Tharagon chapter 2 . 9/17/2010
"I only hope the magic doesn't leave this world before I have a chance to find it. All these machines, all these factories… science doesn't leave much room in the world for the old legends to live on"
Couldn't of put it better myself. I've been trying to keep up with this piece from the beginning, so apologies for taking a while to review after my last.
Firstly, great work. Its a really intriguing piece which has me hooked from the beginning. Great characterisation, i feel as though i'm beginning to like the characters even though i'm on the second chapter. The description lacks a little, perhaps for the surroundings but apart from that the piece flows well and makes a great piece to read and follow.
Secondly, the concept is brilliant. The idea creatures still exist within the world then building an entirely seperate world, like most fantasy stories. So great work, i look forward to seeing what you come up with next.
Also, i live near Troller's Ghyll, so a wee bit of added interest for me, lol...as well one of the creatures i'm most interested in; a Barghest.
| jasperblood chapter 1 . 8/14/2010
I love it! Of course it wasn't exactly in my best interest to read this at night all alone but the details are absolutely excellent! I haven't read the second chapter yet but i will...in daylight. This is satisfyingly creepy and you don't make the vampires sappy or anything like that, which I applaud. I'm not a twilight fan. Please continue!
| Tharagon chapter 1 . 8/6/2010
Ok, I'm intrigued. Additions to reality such as this is such a great story and what you've got so is great. Paranormal investigators is a great touch, i get the impression that Edward is a tad naive, when it comes to dealing with paranormal monsters. It'll be interesting to see what he learns from this experience and the many more you're probably going to be writing.
One point though, and this is a minor one (I usually give up reading if there are too many), when it comes down to moving to new locations, try and describe them a little more. A clearing in a forest is fine, but maybe to give a sense of atmosphere describe the location such as the shape of the trees, the way the tomb stones and lain and what the entrance to the tomb looks like. This can also be applied to the interior of Mrs Drury's house.
Anyway, great work, i look forward to seeing what happens next.