Reviews for Ex Nihilo
thewhimsicalbard chapter 4 . 1/10/2011
I caught the reference to IABD; very nice. You did an excellent job on this piece, especially with your unconventional paragraph half-breaks. Those were well used throughout the story. I saw you got a nod for an award at La Camp, so I thought I'd read them all, and I decided that yours was the best because you included Eric Bailey. And because yours was actually the best.

Anyways, that's my overall glossing review. It was excellent. I loved it. It was just short enough on detail to make me think, but not so messed up that I couldn't get my head around it. Great work, as always.

The way you describe his attempted suicide was fucking awesome. I can tell you how much I liked that part. Plus, I just recently read Jake's story, so Eric's character is all fresh in my mind... That's amazing imagination, that one sick, sexually deviant psycho who had nothing else to live for could change the world like that. That drugs became our ultimate escape. I wonder if you've ever seen the movie "Serenity"... You'd appreciate it if you watched it.

Great stuff, Dee. I'm going to continue to struggle valiantly to keep up with you. Bah. I need to go write something good now. Fuck the winter. It kills my muse.

So do 3AM nights.

Until some later date, on which you will return my PM.


berley chapter 4 . 11/23/2010
"Day?" My mom has a voice like yellow onion.

The kind that makes you wanna cry when you peel back the layers but you know it's not real tears, it'll never be real tears.

I remember her looking at me, peeling herself back, making herself cry.

I love that part. As well as the part about his father’s cliché voice. Though, I think my favourite part out of this entire chapter was the descriptions of his first time doing the drug. It was so vivid, and very original. It’s true, no one forgets their first time doing any drug, and after that waste spend the rest of your life trying to find that first high that will never ever happen again. I also really liked the bits of poetry that you put in there. It gave the piece a more distorted effect, which was perfect considering they were under the influence for the beginning.

I’m excited plot is about to strike, and look forward to reading more!
Serendipitist Swan chapter 1 . 11/9/2010
I do wish you luck. It's always a shame to abandon a story, especially one with so much potential like yours.

What can I say? Writing style is great. Figurative language Love. For example:

"His eyes are open and his pupils have taken over, turned the blue and white into a nasty oil spill; sticky, wet and everything's dead, everything's black."

How did you even think of that? Anyway, besides not exactly knowing where the plot is going, so far I think it's amazing.

learntosayhello chapter 4 . 11/1/2010
I feel like this story is too intense for me to be allowed to review it.

Haven't really read anything as frighteningly and... interestingly descriptive before.

Really gives you insight on how your mind's working when you're all jacked up.

And lot's of suspense, woah.

Amazing, really. But I'm sure you've heard a lot of that.

Thanks for sharing, I hope it's not the end, I'm wondering what happens to Day.
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 4 . 11/1/2010
As always, I love the style and formatting of this. It's really different, and the disjointed feeling of it works really well to go alongside the use of drugs in the story. The poems, again, worked really well to add to that effect and I like how you jumped from one thing to another - it was still quite clear though, so good work with that. The ending is great, really full of suspense, which you built up perfectly, and the "I am Eric fucking Bailey" line was slightly disturbing, but in a good way.

Some of this reminds me a bit of Bret Easton Ellis, in a very good way.
hideandseek13 chapter 4 . 10/22/2010
You're writing style continues to suck me in with your great wording and descriptions! I love your story because your characters are always interesting and there's always good suspense! Keep it up!
hideandseek13 chapter 1 . 10/22/2010
I really liked the metaphor in the beginning as I could easily picture the excited little kid! The last part, however, I couldn't picture as easily, because it didn't have as much detail of the surroundings. Still, you have a great writing style! Keep up the good work.
Ossifer chapter 4 . 10/22/2010
This is really believable. The dialogue is good, and I like the bits of poetry. You use interesting similies too. I like it.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa chapter 4 . 10/18/2010
Well that was disturbing... Very well written, but still... disturbing...
Charactarantula chapter 4 . 10/18/2010
The first time I read this chapter was Saturday night, drunk off my ass having just gotten a blowjob in the bushes by a girl I met at a party prior to stealing a police barricade and putting it in my friend's dorm room. I had no idea what the FUCK was going on. Yet, even still, it remains INCREDIBLY flattering to have a creation of mine be presented in the work of another. There is no greater feeling. Plus, it presents the idea that my world eventually devolved into this. And that... well, that is just too fucking awesome. I was expecting a throwaway line about some serial killer, but this... just... :)


Anyway, I loved the description of the trip, it was very engaging and I liked the half-poetry tid-bits sprinkled in. They gave a very disorienting effect, one that I didn't understand at first, but one I realized we were under the influence I was very pleased. I also like the first touch of plot. SUSPENSE. DRAMA. STORY. LET'S GO

P.S. I love you.

Frayling0 chapter 1 . 10/17/2010
This was an interesting prologue, using my favourite style. Vague hints raise questions and threaten to drag me further into the story. it was quite vivid and had a chilling edge to it. I look forward to seeing the plot take shape. Luke, the Roadhouse
Elsbeth Lagrange chapter 4 . 10/17/2010
Wow, I wish I had something more useful in the way of a critique, I really got drawn in.
YasuRan chapter 4 . 10/16/2010
Duude, this story, your writing... duude.

As you can figure out, stuff of this caliber renders me stoopid X]

I'm loving every chapter so far. Your imagery is so stark and provocative that you don't need to tell me what's going on: I can just feel the whole damn thing. I've seen a lot of takes on a futuristic dystopian society but yours by far just steals the whole show.

Pardon me for the fangirling. Couldn't help it, what with prose like what I've just read.
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 3 . 10/3/2010
Firstly, I like the slight twist you have with the main character asking to be drugged up as a kid; it shows the power of 'the crowd' I guess, in a really effective way. This chapter really drew me in, not just to the characters but the world around them and the way you described it was done really well; I could see the scene with the kids just sitting there, doing nothing. The atmosphere was effective, too, and there's that underlying sense throughout of how messed up things really are, so yeah, nice job.
Koszmar chapter 3 . 9/20/2010
RG - Depth

- Characters

Your characters are fantastic. With so little information provided, you've still managed to capture their 'needs' and desires so well. Especially through your main characters actions and thoughts, I really felt I could connect with him on some sort of level. He's very real in how he sees the world, and it paints a great picture of his personality.

- Writing

I don't think I can say enough about your writing style. It's very abrupt and face paced, and really made me want to read faster. Your specific use of words for description is also amazing, "a downpour of skinny freckled dance-walking limbs" gives such a good visual image even though it isn't all that detailed. You've done that a lot in your story, and I found each one as definable as the last. The style you use works perfectly with the content and reads almost like thoughts.

- Enjoyment

I loved this so far, so much in fact that I read it from the beginning. Your near-apocalyptic world is intriguing, and the whole idea that you've decided to follow junkies as your main characters is a change from the normal 'heroic' main cast. It was nice to read something gritty and down to earth, even if it is a little depressing. I'll most certainly be looking for your next update to find out how the high goes and where you will take this.

- Techniques

As I mentioned before in regards to your writing, you use some specific wordage that I felt I should address down here as well because I don't think I've seen it before, or if so, very rarely. The way you've paired certain words together to create new concepts is awesome. "We're bubbling, popping and bubbling." "the texture of reality" Your phrases like that hold a lot of punch behind them and are really a good, dominating factor that adds to the entire chapter and overall story. They are short but powerful, and through their consistent use you've (as mentioned before) kept the story fast paced and not congested with adjectives.
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