|Reviews for Yaw|
| Black Sparrow chapter 1 . 8/17/2010
There is an eerie feel about this poem, but perhaps that's why I love it so much. It is amazing
| Ayx chapter 1 . 8/9/2010
and the elms
like spires; palms
hold palms, sing
I highly enjoy this stanza.
| Johannas mirror chapter 1 . 8/8/2010
You make my head hurt so much. So much, in fact, that I cannot review this right away, and now have to go back and read your wonderful poem twice more. The things I do for poetry.
There is just so much intimate beauty here that I almost don't know what to do with myself.
I suppose, first, a technical note. It bothered me that the title was not sepparated fully from the rest of the words. I wanted a full line of white between the bolded 'Yaw' and the rest of the poem. Even if you are incorperating the first line with the rest, the sepparation (in my mind, at least) adds dignity.
The italisized text and the stanza about the palm trees are clearly the strongest here, although I'm not attempting to detract from the rest of this poem. I'm charmed by the quiet power of the italisized words, and the image in my head is so clear, so sharp and yet transparant. All sepia toned and once-upon-a-bitter-time.
I'm not going to pretend to understand this poem fully, but that doesn't matter at all, because it made me feel. It slid right up the side of me, like a razor, and made me want to read it again and again. There is something desperate and quiet about the way you write this. You even manage to draw it full circle, with the 'biting the stiff' without making the same words start and end completely, as so many do.
This is a terrible review, because I'm absolutely blown away by this poem, and just want to hug you.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 8/7/2010
Review Marathon this weekend (link in my profile).
I like this piece a lot. I think your word choices are really great. Especially in the second half of the piece. I'm not going to lie, I had to look some up like rataplan, but I thought it definitely made the piece unique.
I thought the itslics were a really nice touch and especially how you didn't italicize harsher to emphasize it. The play on words with palms and psalms was really creative as well.