|Reviews for Sass|
| valleyoffat chapter 1 . 9/20/2010
i lvoethis one, favorite so far, grocery store, and wet and lilac, i love it :)
| YasuRan chapter 1 . 9/4/2010
I loved the rhythm expressed here. Like a strange sort of slow dance that has these cute melancholic awkward moments. *waxes lyrical*
The last line was wonderful as was the one on chocolate: 'melting between the wet spot between teeth and tongue'. Delightful.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 9/4/2010
Review Marathon this weekend (link in my profile)
"been buried already neath the cold ground"... 'neath
"and keep you board until the winter comes,"... bored
"thitherto unrecognized"... hitherto
I do like the piece. The beginning really drew me in because the idea of sass in eyelashes instead of eyes was really interesting and unique. The whole piece was well written with beacutiful word choices as always. I also liked how you tied the sass in throughout the piece.
| Black Sparrow chapter 1 . 8/17/2010
hollyhocks and the lilacs growing through my ears
as if I had died and been buried already neath the cold ground,
and spring had collapsed inside my flesh and I was everywhere
Brilliant, I love it.
| deefective chapter 1 . 8/10/2010
Hm. Well, I really liked the way this started out. It had a sort of 'swing' that felt very 50s. It flowed quite well and your word choice was great. It felt different from the usual tone that you have in your writing, but a good different. I actually think I liked it more. Around the middle there, that feeling died a bit and I felt your old tone come back but then you picked it up all the way until about the last three lines. It's not that your usual tone is bad but I would've liked to see you keep the swing all the way through. Just as the title suggests, there's a very sassy feel to this. It's girly and sexy and teasing and fun to read yet thought provoking. You could've come a bit harder with the sass and the feeling. I felt that at times it was overshadowed by the imagery, which was great, but this felt like it should've more like a "feeling" kind of piece, if you know what I mean. My favorite line was probably:
"think of me as chocolate, melting between the wet spot
between teeth and tongue,"
The imagery there is pretty stunning and just so charged with sex and sass. It's great, really. Anyway, other than that, nicely done.