Finally got to review; aren't you proud of me? xD I was trying to do homework.

I really like this story, except for a few things:

The sentences: If you look on any of my reviews, you'll probably notice that I say this a lot. You have more talent than at least half the people on this website, but you obviously have room to grow. Many of the sentences start with a (pro)noun or article; sometimes other parts of speech make your writing even better.

Spelling and grammar: This is something that can be easily remedied, whether it be with more editing/ revising, using spellcheck, or getting a beta. I apologize, but I'm so busy with school that I actually will not be able to help you with that aspect.

That's pretty much all I disliked. The characters are well-developed, you didn't dump too much back-story into the first chapter, and overall I look forward to seeing more.

I'd better say this so I don't sound like a complete asshole: This is a really sad story. If this kind of story piques your interest, another one I would recommend to you is Five Dollars. I believe it is in my favorites, but if it isn't and you want to read it, let me know. I THINK it's by Screamarie.

wow. thats so sad :(

ZACK BETTER GET HIS ASS INSIDE. RIGHT THE FUCK NAOW. LIKE SERIOUSLY. NOT EVEN HAPPY CAUSE ITS AN UPDATE. AGH.

it so beautiful, but it so short...

update soon! XD

*stares at screen and cries*

So sad, but so so good.

I really really really like this. Don't kill poor Lucas! lol

I read the first chapter and I was amazed. I really like this :D