|Reviews for Fiery Sea|
| This is you chapter 1 . 8/15/2010
I like it, the way it kinda flows.
And the italics do make it seem more...like waves, kinda?
Overall, I like it,
And, thank you for reviewing my story.
| The Sarcasm Dance chapter 1 . 8/15/2010
(Well, here I am XD)
First off, I likes this poem. I got the imagery of the ship fighting the sea quite well, without you over explaining it, though actually, a few more lines of description might be good.
Only, I feel that a poem of this length should be split into stanzas. However this is personal preference and you are free to disagree with me.
the angel lies/with it's pride isn't grammatically correct and should be: the angel lies/with its pride.
I do like this. Feel free to ignore my advice.
-The Sarcasm Dance
p.s thanks for reviewing my story :D
| 3M2R chapter 1 . 8/14/2010
Hmm... It has a nice flow, just that it's pretty difficult to read because it's all in one chunk. I'm quite critical about stanzas and such. I can't really stand reading poems which read like prose (one paragraph). I just don't think it fits as a poem (unless it's short enough).
The italics gave it a dreamy feel IMO. Maybe it's just me. For me, I usually use italics for thoughts and dreams. So it feels more spiritual and magical. Even more so with angels. (again, the angels part could be because of my religion. We don't believe in angels.)
I just the sense of frantic, struggle, and lost. It gives the poem the essence of a living soul. We all have something we fear, something are afraid of to lose or do, and mistakes that we hope we will never make (but we still make them).
By the way, Just a suggestion... I think maybe you should use italics where really necessary. I feel, when you use it through the whole poem, it distorts the actual meaning you want to convey. (It's just that I think you wanted to express another feeling, but because of the overuse of italics, everything seems to have been covered up by the dreamy effect.