Reviews for I Know Who God Is: Owned by No Man
simpleplan13 chapter 5 . 1/16/2011
"with vocal cords ripped out."... chords

In the third stanza I think that second line was too long for the flow.

I did like the piece. I thought the images and descriptions were really powerful and beautiful, especially in that second stanza.

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simpleplan13 chapter 4 . 1/16/2011
I kind of thought that this piece would member fit better as the third piece 'cause that ended with the grave. Plus the come with me part here would link the current third chapter into the collection better I think.

The italics worked well to separate out the other person;s point of view.

I liked that ending too. It was really great.
simpleplan13 chapter 3 . 1/16/2011
"through hands too slow"... I think it should be slowly

"shines with it's own light."...its

I thought the switch from him to her was odd. because I saw the second stanza as his thoughts and then bam we were with her actually escaping.

I did really like the part about the lighthouse. That was a really great similie. The piece itself was good overall too.
simpleplan13 chapter 2 . 1/16/2011
"and she sheds a tear like a garment."... I don't get this. Garments don't cry.

I also didn't like the repetition of rise with the first two stanzas. It just seemed off to use that word choice.

"with her face lined with time."... I don't think you need the first with. I think "her face lined with time" is less wordy and works just as well. That said, I do like that description.

"it'll all turn out fine."... fine just seemed like such a blah choice, especially with all the other great word choices you have.

That last line was really great and powerful. Well done.
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 1/16/2011
I didn't really like the beginning part. I think the whole hair as waves thing has been done before. Plus, I think it should be in the sea not on the sea.

I did like the last two stanzas. I thought the description of here hair was much better. I also thank you for the a/n at the end. It was definitely helpful.

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Phoebe Melinda Halliwell chapter 5 . 8/20/2010
Phoebe Melinda Halliwell chapter 4 . 8/20/2010
Phoebe Melinda Halliwell chapter 3 . 8/20/2010
Aw! I love this! So descriptive!
Phoebe Melinda Halliwell chapter 2 . 8/20/2010
Phoebe Melinda Halliwell chapter 1 . 8/20/2010