|Reviews for Whispers and Wishes|
| Olivander chapter 7 . 8/2/2012
I don't have time for a lengthy review, but please know that this story is truly magical!
I have and will certainly continue to follow it loyally :)
| LunaGratia chapter 7 . 8/1/2012
She's still uneasy, still dazed, still confused, and at least a little scared. She hasn't gotten used to him, but she has begun to trust him not to harm her.
I understand her uneasiness of her family, and her dislike of them. I understand to an extent, at least. I was always brought up to high standards and could never really reach them, although, unlike Aften's family, my mother and father still like me. And I share her tendency of bad luck, which is something you cannot seem to change.
I love your description of him. I am a lover of mythology, particularly the fae.
I don't quite understand Skylark's dislike of Aften. Aften is unfortunate in her bringing up: her family situation is a battlefield of death, dislike, and trickery. Of all emotions toward Aften, I would think that sympathy is more in order. The wolves are on the prowl, and Aften is the lamb.
I also quite like the description of his humming, it sounds beautiful... calming... like hearing colors. I don't know if that makes sense, but I imagine it's how a blind person 'sees' colors: through sound.
Thanks for the update!
| Skylark1 chapter 2 . 8/17/2010
Nice start! I like the slow build-up, the way you don't jump into the action straight away. You seem to handle introductions better than the vast majority of writers on this site. Already you've built up plenty of suspense surrounding this mysterious inheritance, and I'm intrigued! I think you're clearly a talented writer, so keep it up!
I guess what I don't like so much about this story so far is Aften's tendency to blame everything that goes wrong on fate or other people. She comes across at the moment like she's fairly selfish, has a bit of an overinflated opinion of herself, and doesn't sound like she understands the concept of personal responsibility. It's not necessarily due to bad luck or unfairness that meant she didn't win those prizes, for example - it's just that she wasn't the best/most talented on some occasions. And on the occasions that *were* down to luck, such as the sabotaged science experiment, why is she so sure she would have won, anyway? I hope we'll see some character development later on where she learns the value of sportsmanship. :P
Likewise, I'm not a fan of the way she talks about her father and her family in general. As someone who arguably has a father like that in real life, it seems to me that she sounds whiny and ungrateful. Being brought up to high standards is definitely not all bad - but no matter what one's parents are like, I think family deserves respect. Aften doesn't sound like she cares for her parents at all. If she acts this way all the time, I can see why her family might not feel so friendly towards her! Again, it makes it very difficult for me to relate to Aften.
From a storytelling perspective, I think that delving too much into a character's bias can also be tricky, sometimes - in first person particularly, there's the risk of the secondary characters appearing one-dimensional because the reader doesn't see any other perspectives. I admire your ability to get so much about Aften's personality across in just one and a half chapters (a rare skill), but it's always risky to make a character so unlikable. Be careful, as well, not to take the lazy way out and simply make Aften the 'undeserving victim' in a sea of shallow, selfish vultures. Your secondary characters deserve better than that! :P
Anyway, I look forward to seeing where this story goes! Good luck!