|Reviews for Fortune's Trip|
| Garneau chapter 17 . 8/20/2010
I really like the jar and bug analogy. That's another one you've applied (like the prince and princess one).
I thought this was well written but I do have a point of criticism.
I liked how you started with Ayla's confused thoughts, but when they went outside to eat, sitting between Wotan's legs was the last thing I would expect her to do with her conflicting emotions raging through her.
Maybe she would've sat awkwardly besdie him, but sitting in front of him like that, seems like an extremely intimate gesture. . .it seemed to conflict with her earlier emotions.
But as I said before I really liked the analogy, and wow, he bit her. I'm expecting a transformation . . .
| Garneau chapter 16 . 8/20/2010
I like the change to Malisha's perspective.
However, I found her submission very unexpected. I didn't think she was so accepting of her change and Miska's dominance.
Was it something to do with the moon/time and her bite? Hopefully you will explain it further on.
Still I really liked the chapter!
| Da-zGreen chapter 17 . 8/19/2010
What an intense chapter! I thought he was like going to rape her or something! Wow, I love it! It's like a kiss, slap thing! Man, you are wonderful!
| Da-zGreen chapter 16 . 8/19/2010
Aw. I love them! Both M's lol.
| Da-zGreen chapter 15 . 8/19/2010
hehehe. Never heard of Chetan either. It's unique! And I like it! Are they Native American?
| Closet Authors Imagination chapter 15 . 8/19/2010
This Is AMAZING. I Love Ayla, She's Awesome, And Indipendent. I Like The Fact That You Made It So That She Doesn't Immedietly Fall For Him, And Accept Him. It Puts A Biy Of Reality In To Your Story... All In All, Dont Stop, Its Awesome!
| Garneau chapter 15 . 8/19/2010
Feels like I've just written seven reviews in a row ( i kind of have ;))
I love the little interaction between Wotan and Ayla. They both have such good chemistry. I also forgot to mention earlier about how I liked that you let the werewolf side of the boys show through in how they were very possessive and demanding (not quite the right word, but good enough) in not tolerating the disobedience of their mates.
Thanks for the reply, it definitely explained a lot about Ayla's character. It shows you have put a lot of thought in developing her character. As for her fear of the dark, I hate it too! Well I used to hate it more, but not so much anymore. I still picture murders and rapists lurking around corners, lol.
Anyway, as always I look forward to seeing what happens next,
| Garneau chapter 14 . 8/19/2010
Great chapter again,
I am very impressed by your style of writing. It is very advanced. I like the numbering thing you have going on. It adds to Ayla's character.
Sorry short review, I want to see why "everything went black",
| Garneau chapter 13 . 8/19/2010
Wow, action packed chapter.
I don't know what to think of Scott, especially when the bed and breakfast lady ( i forgot her name) made such a good first impression. I'm suspecting rival gangs/packs. . .
This story is definitely heating up, can't wait for more,
| Garneau chapter 12 . 8/19/2010
Hahahahaha, you updated with out me realising!
Anyway, I totally didn't see that part about Ayla having werewolf blood in her. That was completely out of the blue and a really nice twist.
Anyway, I'm on to the next chapter!
| Garneau chapter 11 . 8/19/2010
You are definitely keeping up the standard of your writing. At the very biginning, I felt it wasn't as strong as it is now. You got into a good groove and have kept the momentum and drama flowing at a really ideal pace.
Great little analogy (?) with the Princess and Prince story illustrating Ayla's situation. It said everything that the reader needed to know without going into monotonous detail and kept it light and fun.
Now I can't wait for the next update, with Ayla's father on the way and all the people at the dinner table.
Hopefully you can update soon,
| Garneau chapter 10 . 8/19/2010
Sorry I totally misspelt Wotan's name. "Wanton", I think that's a freudian and slip and my unconscious telling me I'm hungry.
The little telephone conversation was and is a really smart trick, both for the contents of this story and real life.
I love Ayla, she's got spunk and a fighting spirit, not a submissive female but not the cliched independent heroine. I love it.
Poor Wotan, he didn't see it coming. She's a tricky one.
now to the next chapter (i feel this story needs more reviews, because it is that good - feel honoured ;) )
| Garneau chapter 9 . 8/19/2010
I love this story. The whole unusual spin on the werewolf scenario involving the trip. It's great. It is also really well written. It's a real gem of a story.
I love the characters from Wanton to Ayla. If I were to say something critical, I think Ayla herself is a bit bi-polar. One minute she's punching things and the next she's crying. That's not really criticism, but I remember a couple of chapters back that her interaction with Wanton was a bit inconsistant. Sorry that's not very helpful advice is it?
Anyway the fact of the matter is I really like your work and I can't wait to read the next chapters!
| Da-zGreen chapter 11 . 8/18/2010
What a cute story! I would love to read more! You got to update! I say, you are a GREAT writer! But I kind of think Wotan, is a funny name. No offense. lol. Anyways, please update soon!