Reviews for Lacedaemon
Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 9/4/2010
I really loved this one – there’s such a strong sense of vulnerability that I’m not used to seeing from you in this one. You kept the emotional level high – letting the reader feel the ache of releasing as you wrote, but there was still the customary sharpness of tongue that is common in your work.

Overall I though the piece was pretty much flawless, I think the only thing that I might suggest would be to look at the opening section a bit: ‘letting the words bleed on the page’ is a bit clichéd now a days, perhaps changing that up a bit might help. Lovely as always though, and I loved your closing line: ‘leaks with black ink’ it made me think of rain on the darkest of nights. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.
thewhimsicalbard chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
[RG - Poems - Easy Fix]

I love this title. I don't know where you come up with those.

The rhyme in this poem was only cheesy once - "dotted-i" and "cry." Otherwise, you pulled it off really well, because it was so irregular.

Your language was a little bit simpler than usual, and I'm honestly not certain if it serves you well in this instance. With a title like that, I certainly expected the poem to be a little bit "bigger" in its sensation.

Your images were stellar as always. I have no complaints there.

I did love the message at the end (even though it was hard to find it through the punctuation - your entire poem was two sentences long); that writing is the ultimate catharsis.

This is a solid piece. Not your best ever, but still well worth my time. Hope to hear from you soon!

-thewhimsicalbard
Manifest-Destiny-x X chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
I really loved the rhythm and irregular rhyme to the piece. In some places I found the line breaks to be choppy, but I understood that they were there more for thematic emphasis than the flow-factor. I definitely identify with the subject matter, especially the "tears of release" bit; beautiful and true. A lot of poets, or writers in general, can sympathize with your point of view. I loved the final image of a roof leaking with black ink; brilliant!
seredemia chapter 1 . 8/20/2010
Have I ever mentioned how much I lvoe your summaries? They always sound so strange, which makes me click on the poem and stuff. I love it!

I love how this kinda has a dark side. Such as the words bleeding onto the page and so on... I love that metaphor. I loved this whole poem... For some reason, I got the image of someone who couldn't sleep because they had too much on their mind. So they felt the need to write it down..? I love the image of black ink leaking into the roof... That looks really... pretty... in a weird way.

Roadhouse