|Reviews for Thoughts On A Page|
| Brat Harvis chapter 1 . 12/14/2010
Nicely done, The message is simply beautiful it's a Fav for me
| recycle rhymes chapter 1 . 12/5/2010
The metaphor was interesting. You put this unifying idea of a shadow into many words. Nice work.
| airsickness chapter 4 . 11/24/2010
It is quite good. It doesn't rhyme, but it compensates it with the rhythm. A little redundant here and there (e.g. "You hear it, yet hear what you want to hear", you can replace a word with "listen" or something) but it is fine. It is great on its own.
Subscribed, and looking forward to your next works as well.
| SmashedIce.X chapter 4 . 10/15/2010
Ooh, I like this! I've thought about this before... very well written! I don't mean to be picky, but you spelt beginning wrong. Apart from that, you are a great poet! :)
| SmashedIce.X chapter 2 . 10/15/2010
This is good, the last stanza might have been better if it followed the pattern of the others... but still good! :)
| SmashedIce.X chapter 1 . 10/15/2010
Hey! This is good, I didn't know the poem was about a shadow until I read that part, really well written! :)
| Kikyuu chapter 3 . 10/12/2010
First off, thanks for your reviews! :)
I just have to say that, personally, I tend not to rhyme because I find it pretty difficult. But there's a sort of simplicity about the rhyming in this poem that's not pretentious at all, and it works. Really like the ending: "For humans must make mistakes,/For them to let go of their dark fear."
Just a couple of things - should "darkened vale" be "darkened veil"? Also, I enjoyed the progression of the poem but felt that the fourth verse was a bit redundant as it didn't really add anything.
Still, I enjoyed this poem. Nice work.
| Inkspilled chapter 2 . 8/28/2010
I love the rhythm, it moved really well. The length seemed just right. Creative and vivid, nice work. :)
| seagreen03 chapter 2 . 8/27/2010
this one has a REAL wrenches my heart you for writing.
all yours poems are very deep,dark and kinda them.
| One More Note chapter 1 . 8/26/2010
beautiful, beautiful poem! I love this so much! write more... Write lots more!
I just love the way you wrote that, so majestic, so deep... beautiful in n enchanted way. It charmed me...
| teardrenchedviolets chapter 4 . 8/24/2010
I really like all of these poems in your collection. It definitely made me think. I'm not so sure i understand all of it (maybe none at all), but what I managed to get was really really good. :) I think people should learn to read between the lines. (And maybe I should too.)
| hayashika chapter 4 . 8/23/2010
Nice. This poem really talks about reality. :) A little mistake I found in the line "Your scared". Should be 'you're' instead of 'your' XD Great job though! Hope to read more from you soon. (:
| hayashika chapter 3 . 8/23/2010
Oh wow, I love all of your poems so far! I wasn't sure I really understood the second one, but hey, poems are like that. XD Halfway through reading "TheSilent Follower" I had a feeling you were talking about a shadow. :D Great writing skills. One little mistake I found was in your third poem in the line "But I know better then to interfere.". The 'then' should be 'than'. Just to let you know. :) Anyway, other than that, it was fantastic, I really enjoyed reading it. Keep it up! -
| East-0f-Eden chapter 1 . 8/23/2010
It's very sweet. I recommend that you post your poems individually rather than chapters. That way people won't have to leaf through the rest to find the one they want. Also they can see the description of each poem. Just an idea.
| Eloquent-Marionette chapter 3 . 8/23/2010
Hm, very thought provoking. It's true, humans continually make mistakes over and over again and it's our own fault. But we have to learn from them in order to move on. It's hard but it's something we have to do. Good job! KW! :D