|Reviews for Missing Pieces|
| U MadeMyLifeComplete chapter 16 . 1/30/2011
I LOVE it so much im ADDICTED really badly and i can't wait for the next chapter!
| CaBlasch87 chapter 16 . 1/30/2011
this is a pretty good story.
| Ingrid Indigo chapter 16 . 1/30/2011
1 rule of thumb: Quality over quantity. Reader's don't mind if you write a little as long it is fills them with excitement for the next chapter. Sure they'll win, but it's only because the quality of the literature really drew them in deep. Next time, try writing when you aren't pressed for time, it'll show in your writing. :D
I think it'd be really hot if Jesse had a really gorgeous little sister that was over-protective of him and stuff; it'd put a nice twist in the plot when Sammy wins her over to her side.
And I don't want to seem like a downer but it sort of seems far-fetched that her Mother came from no where and got into her apartment. Maybe Sam forgot her phone somewhere and realized she got 20 calls from her Mom and 17 texts saying she was in the area? And then she wakes them up from knocking on the door, thus seeing her dressed like "a-a- whore!" and Jesse and whatnot.
Sorry if this was long, but I still love SamanthaxJesse to bits! w
| Lavenderbeach chapter 16 . 1/30/2011
Jesse should have an equally hot older brother *hint hint* :) PLEASE CONTINUE
| Lavenderbeach chapter 14 . 1/30/2011
Love the story! Just to let you know, you changed persons in Ch.14 from first to third :) Might wanna change that
| Brightheart chapter 16 . 1/30/2011
i love this chapter. the whole boxer thing was so cute. i think jesse should have an older sister who approves of sam.
| Brightheart chapter 15 . 1/24/2011
i like this story a lot.
| U MadeMyLifeComplete chapter 15 . 1/23/2011
OMG can't wait till you update I love it!
| My-Bloody-Sacrifice96 chapter 15 . 1/23/2011
this is amazing. you seriously need to update quicker.(:
| Curlysquirt95 chapter 15 . 1/23/2011
I really like this story so far. I love how Jessie and Sam are always teasing each other, yet they're still madly in love with each other. Can't wait to read more! :)
| tErEsAmArIe chapter 15 . 1/23/2011
he just has to ruin everything doesnt he but it wouldnt be a good story without the drama now would it nope!
| ashbasheagle chapter 15 . 1/22/2011
Ack! He's back! (Ha that rhymed lol) I can't wait for your next update!
| MantraMagazine chapter 1 . 1/17/2011
The good news is that your grammar and sense of writing is very good. Your sentences are well structured, which I appreciate. A lot of your analogies were very clever, well placed, and had a certain quirk to them.
I do think that you've crunched several common scenarios into your first chapter. The key scenes you want in there bring a sort of stress or anixiet, which is needed in this case, but they don't flow from one to another. You're just thrust in to "he's a playboy" and then "he's hitting on me" and then "oops, I kicked him in the crotch" (nice one by the way) without a reflective quality.
You have everything in place, including a really fun story line, but the content so far is a little overdone. I'm not sure what will work best for you, but I would suggest more of Sam's thoughts. That would allow the reader to get to know and identify with her, which is two birds with one stone.
You could use buffers added into your scenes, like a strong coffee with just the right amount of creamer as to cut the bitterness but not loose the flavor. Right now you have black coffee, but the base, your structure, is spot on. There haven't been a lot of stories that have such well-used English. We're not talking Old English, there's a balance in your writing that is really nice for someone with story OCD. Even some of my favorite stories here I have to look over what is sometimes a shortcomming, whereas you have it in spades.
I don't want to tell you how to write your story. My advice is to work on a finer dialog, a smoother transition from scene to scene, and to have a lot of fun with your story!
| The Golden Orchid chapter 15 . 1/12/2011
okay one - your author name made me hungry :P
and two - THIS IS SUCH AN AWESOME STORY!
you're a terrific writer, no joke :)
i'm working on a story right now and i was SO surprised cuz it's very similar to yours...you've done a great job though, just a few grammatical goofs up here and there, but the awesomeness of your story makes up for it :P update asap!
| shanaenae123 chapter 15 . 1/2/2011
awesome! they are finally together! can't wait for the next chapter! :D