Reviews for Missing Pieces |
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![]() ![]() ![]() :O You updated! This is good! I liked it. I did feel like it was more of a filler chapter, and that down the road more will come from it. Like you make her dress all "hot damn" then you don't have anything come of it... meh. I don't know :P Emily UPDATE ASAP! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Awesome chapter :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hi. I read your story. Lol! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Good start, there's a lot happening... I almost found it overwhelming... It went from alone at a coffee shop, to being harassed by Jesse, to all this discord, to going home, and finding him in the shower. It just seemed like the story flowed a bit unnaturally. You've got some potential here with the quirky characters you've made, but your story's missing something in terms of structure. Hope this doesn't sound insulting. I really think you could improve, but like I've said, you still done a good job! Cheers |
![]() ![]() ![]() nice chapter. can't wait 4 the next one. |
![]() ![]() I absolutely loved this chapter ! Keep it UP |
![]() ![]() ![]() update update update update. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I am reviewing again because I seriously can not wait for the next chapter! DONT LEAVE ME IN SUSPENSE |
![]() ![]() I am just reviewing again so you will upload faster ;) I re read the chapter and loved it more then the first time. I think it would be sweet if Jesse walked in and kissed her cheek or something (when she's in Cheri's room sleeping) and he thinks she's asleep. Lol the hopeless romantic in me thought of that. |
![]() ![]() I'm new to fictionpress but not writing and reading. I've been reading a lot of stories on here and a bunch of them annoyed me. They are like pieces of dirt. But yours was a diamond within the dirt. I'm amazed. Your characters come to life, they feel real to me. This should be a novel. If I knew Jesse in real life I'm afraid I would fall head over heels in love with him. Samantha is so funny, creative and caring. She's sarcastic and clever and reminds me much of myself. Becky is awesome. She's nice, caring but has a fiery side. I love these characters! Though I don't have an account on fictionpress I will be reading this story until it ends and reviewing as much as possible. You really have a future in writing. Keep up the amazing work! ~ Elissa Kellog |
![]() ![]() ![]() Eesh. I hate first loves! They ruin everything! Update soon! |
![]() ![]() ![]() LEAVE CASEY. Just leave. Sam and Jesse should be together. ANd he should love her. LOL, Great chapter :) UPDATE ASAP! |
![]() ![]() ![]() lol this was a goooood chapter lol. I KNOW JESSE'S SISTER BROUGHT HIS EX OVER ON PURPOSE. she cnt be sry after the way she kept treating her but i am ahppy tht jesse's family like sam... we most of them. cant wait to see wht happens next! |
![]() ![]() ![]() you should do a one-shot on all the characters. update fast. i really want to know about casey. |
![]() ![]() oh no"! it's going to end soon! nooo! update soon! |