|Reviews for Smooth Bleed|
| Jeremy C chapter 1 . 9/12/2010
I love this story. Why is she crazy? Who cares? How can this guy go so long without realizing what she is? Who cares? It's awesome and that is all that needs to be said. Really great description, by the way.
| Xx-Angel-of-Shadows-xX chapter 1 . 9/4/2010
*blink* Well, okay then. Wonderfully descriptive, which made it all the more gruesome, I really loved this.
A couple of things I noticed, not so much errors as sentences that could be phrased better.
"...and his hand went to his throat and the other to the counter to steady himself."
Well, there are a few ways you could modify this, but one that I think would work better would be -
"He backward swallowed. One hand went to his throat, and he placed the other on the counter to steady himself."
"She smiled saintly."
This doesn't flow very well, maybe you could change "saintly" to "angelically" ?
Other than that well done, I found this equal parts funny and disturbing. :)
All the best,
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 1 . 8/29/2010
Creepy and eerie, nicely written. I like the contrast between the way he sees her with her "cutesy, housewife apron" and the way she actually is. Ugh, creepy smoothies.
[But with a body like hers, what man in his right mind would complain?]
That bit is done really well; it shows that he knows something is wrong about her but, typical man, she's hot so he doesn't seem to care :P Nicely done.
| Lord Vivian Darling chapter 1 . 8/28/2010
Your lingering description of the stalling blender,the meat, rocked. Good.