|Reviews for Gemma|
| JasmineHoran chapter 1 . 12/18/2013
| YasuRan chapter 1 . 9/7/2010
Very sweet. I actually expected the man to break her heart in the end but I was pleasantly proven wrong. The 'not that he could admit such a thing' was cute :)
| HiddenFromYou chapter 1 . 9/3/2010
I like the use of semi-colons in this piece. It gives a unique style to the flow and separates the last few lines of each stanza so they make their own impact.
About the ending, however.
"be lost without her,
not that he
such a thing."
I think, instead of the comma, you should have a semi-colon. You've been using them to great effect throughout the poem and it spoils it a little here that you don't continue to do so.
I also think 'could' would be more powerful as 'would'. Just a personal preference. :)
| deefective chapter 1 . 9/3/2010
Hmm. Well, I did like the simplicity in this. It makes itself poetic because it doesn't need to be dramatic to get the point across. The tone was very mellow and almost story-like, which was nice to read as well. I also liked the ending of this, though it does ring a familiar bell, I think it fit the piece almost perfectly. On the other hand though, I didn't like the repetition of 'heart'. It was too close and not the greatest choice. Alone, they do work very nicely but I think you could've used another word in either circumstance. Nicely done.