|Reviews for The Chronicles of a Muslim Vampire|
| Zayn Malik chapter 2 . 4/2/2013
The story is about a male with his mom certain a vampire which in he is a Blood Vampire not a physic but for the hell he drinks blood but other vamps *cut themselves. Meaning they cut their body parts so the blood leaks and then they drink the blood. Ali is trapped being a vampire by being bitten by a vampire or so. A physic vampire does not drink blood (but Ali does) it only transfers all energy from the person lately received by. It drains the energy without touching the victim (that's what attack) it does not hurt, positive! Just a bit to do to get some more energy, you sleep and then have the energy you had but then the P.V comes along and drains it all again. It looks like you are working for the P.V giving it your energy. All vampires work for Satan and the rules listed above in the chapter are damn right! I choked 'cause i read it but some are which self-control over smells of blood and energy, but the two of you have both jobs. Like the vampire works for Satan and you work for stupid,dumb,idiot,scoundrel Vampire. (Majboori hai)
| me chapter 5 . 1/25/2013
When are you gonna publish this on paper? Cannot. Seriously. Wait. Here. How about TSYSK? When?
| ElettraBelle chapter 1 . 6/9/2012
The greatest thing is that it's not like those twilight- vampires that sparkle! Why on earth would a vampire sparkle? I love it!
It's HIGHlarious! I can't wait to read more!
| Rosie chapter 1 . 4/1/2012
One of the most hilarious prologues I've ever read, this is the most unique vampire-related story I could find on Fanfiction and Fictionpress combined
| HelpINeedAUsername chapter 2 . 9/17/2011
I'm Muslim myself, and I found nothing wrong with this story...so ya, keep up the good work! And last chapter you made a refrence to Nancy Ajram, and she's my favorite Arabic singer ever! :) just thought i'd blab and be a super fan for a second...anyway luv the story!
| Rockin'YourSocks chapter 5 . 8/29/2011
This was totally hilarious! And the idea was really original. It's a little disappointing that you won't be posting any more of this, but I'll definitely buy it if you ever publish it! If you do, could let me know?
| Your Dearest Most Special BBF chapter 5 . 8/14/2011
Well... I'm honestly upset I've never read the whole thing before, cuz I loved it when I read it right nao!
It's hilarious, Dee, and you've outdone yourself again.
Could you email me the next chapter? I promise to buy a copy when you publish it anyways! xD
| xDoubleU chapter 5 . 8/13/2011
I honestly think that Ali is a lovable and unique character. Honestly. He's relevant, you know as relevant as he can be being a vampire and all, but he's seriously a true and honest character. And he's just hilarious. (I also like his friend Mohamed XD).
And, well, okay, of course; I just love the fact that he's Arabic and Muslim, haha :P You don't really often see a character with these traits here in fictionpress
I love Ali's relationship with his mother; it's so realistic. And I love the fact that Ali told his mother about him turning into a vampire
On the other hand; it broke my heart when his mother told him that his father didn't notice his disappearance D': And I do wonder when Ali will finally be able to say 'Allah' and will be able to pray without choking. (I'm a bit curious as to what his family will say after he fell).
Your story is, in my opinion, absolutely hilarious. I probably said this already in my previous review, but I really couldn't help guffawing at moments :P The story is really well written. And you have amazing characters; all shaped differently and perfectly. I loved Ali, his mother, Mohamed (and his family xD), and Omar :P (And Mahitab sounds so innocent in this chapter :'D) Seriously, your characters are all 3D, all realistic *heart* :D
I'm kind of both sad and happy that you're thinking of publishing this story. Sad because I won't be able to read the rest here. Happy because maybe one day I'll buy it and read it all the time :P (Pleaseprettyplease can you publish it like, you know, tomorrow? :D) (I kid, I kid... ahem, kind of).
I really like this story. And you know, I don't think I'll ever pronounce Pepsi with a P :P It will always be Bebsi *heartheart* XD
Anyways; I'll probably buy this as a book. I've always wanted to find a good published book in the humour section (got any recommendations? ;D).
So all in all; I love this story, it has realistic characters, and it's very well written (mashallah). I'll probably miss Ali and his hilarious-ness :'D *heartheart*
This review is pretty much a review about the story as a whole. You can consider it a continuation of my previous (rather short) review.
And also, Ramadan Kareem! ;D
(I overused the smiley faces, huh?)
| Subrak chapter 5 . 8/8/2011
Hey. I REALLY like the way you've gone with this. When people think of a Teenage Vampire book, they think "Non-religious Protagonist with Religious Catholic Vampire Hunters / Vampire Wars / Darren Shaun or Dark Hunters!" Or, at least, I think that. You've done a good thing by giving the Main Character a Religion while not, as you say, "Forcing it down their throats." No offence against religious people in general(I mean it, please don't take offence), but most of them in my experience attempt to do exactly that. This is just one of the MANY things I like about this book. It's well written, I can imagine most scenes pretty good in my mind, what's a must for any potential pro-book writer!
You really do have talent with this, I hope you the best of luck when you begin searching for your Literacy Agent! (If you do get it published, send out an alert to everyone that's subscribed to your account, I'll certainly buy it!)
I suggest you inquire to some Beta-Readers who are interested in this book to privately go over your work outside of the FictionPress website(Don't worry FictionPress, I still love you!), it's always good to get another's opinion, no matter how good you think your work is, especially if you're want your book to be good enough to earn an income!
Some more advice: Get the first four chapters done and dusted(Grammar and Punctuation checks, see if there's anything you might want to add), write up an info sheet about each chapter, meaning of any words you have created and give a summery for each future and current chapter, including the second book if you decide to have a second book following this one. Most publishers will greedily take your first three (Sometimes four) chapters and judge them, they'll get back to you if they want to hear more, or they will just throw your work in the bin and avoid contacting you out of awkwardness, so it's a good idea to find a publisher that is interested in your work early on, even if it's not finished yet.
Just be sure to delete the chapters from the website before you go contacting any publisher.
Quote from Terms of Service - No copyright infringement intended:
"For clarity, you retain all of your ownership rights in your User Submissions. However, by submitting User Submissions to , you hereby grant a worldwide, non-exclusive, royalty-free, transferable license to use, reproduce, distribute, display, and perform the User Submissions in connection with the Website. You also hereby waive any moral rights you may have in your User Submissions and grant each user of the Website a non-exclusive license to access your User Submissions through the Website. You understand and agree, however, that may retain, but not display, distribute, or perform, server copies of User Submissions that have been removed or deleted."
- Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but a Publisher may not like this, even if it is only five chapters, not trying to put a dent in your plans, I'm just worried it might make things complicated.
Hope you the best! You should stick up some more stories, even if they're short ones. You're a good writer, and I'm pretty sure your fans will enjoy reading them!
| Sara chapter 5 . 8/7/2011
Great Chapter :)
I am a bit sad that I can't read the story on anymore, but I will definitely read it after you publish it. I love reading a story and laughing at something because it's true.
Thanks for being a wonderful author. Ramadan Kareem!
| zakeeya chapter 5 . 8/6/2011
So, if I ever saw ali, the muslim vampiren or whatyever the poubluisher makes you call it, In a bookshop window, I would buy it without a thougjt. Helln if I saw anything yoykd written..
But anyway. Trying not to be dissapointed etc thata li is leaving until later..but it's hard.
Mind you, I think iut's great that you finally realised how good you actually are. I ws beginning to think someone was gouing to have to send yhe stories out on your behalf...hint hint.
Anyway. Goodluck with writing the rest. I'm more than willing to read and give some feedback later if yoy shoiuld want it.
| Padme4000 chapter 5 . 8/6/2011
This was really good and I would so read it as a book. Good luck
| laurenexplorin chapter 5 . 8/5/2011
awww im so sad that youll be deleting this story. oh well, i really do hope you get it published one day. i would definitely read it!
anyway, this was a nice chapter, great way to end it :D i will be looking forward to one day possibly read the rest of it
| trustnme chapter 5 . 8/5/2011
Oh my FREAKING god, dude! I saw the alert in my inbox, and as I was clicking the link, I thought, "You know, his story is hella good. I wonder if he'll consider publishing it? It's really good and unique that it might actually be considered by a publishing company" AND then I saw the note on top! lmao
But I'm sooo sad that that means you're going to take it down and we don't get to read the rest! Too cruel, man! I understand, but I still think it's cruel! GAHHH!
So here's my final review for the chapter:
I LOVED that comment about Zuckerburg. Hilarious! I'm personally against Facebook and other social media, so that was pretty awesome. Was Ali's reaction about the revolution the same as yours, I wonder? Hmmm...
I can't believe Ali just quoted JoJo... haha
Interesting thoughts from Ali about the celebration and the revolution, especially him doubting things will change.
Man I'm going to miss this story.
Be blessed in all your endeavors! Also, happy Ramadan!
| Nevezuchii Zayats chapter 4 . 7/31/2011
Great story! The humor is top notch and it does showcase bits of Egypt's culture.