Reviews for Akadori |
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![]() ![]() ![]() The description is absolutely amazing and beautiful. It's so vivid that while I read I can actually imagine the room they were in. I haven't read your story "Without Light" yet but I will now since it sounds promising. I love the way you ended it, the characters also seem so interesting! (and perhaps they are) |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is my first taste of Cyrsallyn's (sorry if I spelled that wrong) writing, and I can tell you this much, I have fallen in love. She sets the story in her own land, and has obviously really thought out the details of the culture of its inhabitants to the point where, if I wasn't a logical bum, I would completely believe they exist. Her discriptions are smoothly inegrated into the story, and give you a good image of what it looks like without killing off your imagination. I personally would love for Cyrsallyn to continue this story. I would absoulutly recomend this to any romance fan regardless of whether they like fantasy or not. However, no matter how good the story is now, it can always be improved. I would suggest using more figurative language. There is a lot of imagery in the story, but very few metaphors, similies, illiterations, and personifaction. If the author would like to add these to the story, I think it would make it even better. And for those of you out there who thing my saying its amazing, great, ect., and then sayimg more figurative language makes me hipacritical *whacks upside the head* I'm not I do think it is all those things, I just believe it would be all that and more it the author added more figurative language. Okay. Off to go read Without Light! Bye! |
![]() ![]() ![]() OMG Crysta-I don't remember reading this one so if I did and left a review-here is a second one-LOOOOOOOOOOOVED IT! I LOVED the other side to Kuroshi and a part of me would like to see more to this one here too but I know it is a oneshot-IT WAS BEAUTIFUL IN ALL SENSES-THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS STORY AND THE OTHER-I AM IN LOVE WITH IT! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Finally FP is working! I tried not to be completely creeped out by this story. And once I got to the end, I stopped being creeped out. I was like, "Okay, it's ALMOST consensual now." Your writing style: I like it. It's not terribly unique, but it works. And that's all that counts. This story: it's sort of adorable. I would kill to be in Kuroshi's place right now. He's all... snugglemuffin with her. Grammar: Oh my gosh, you actually know how to use proper English? You're like... one out of one hundred people on here that actually uses proper English. (Poems don't count. In poems, you choose your own grammar.) Yeah, so that's about it. Nice job. If it wasn't obvious, I'm diwu6398 from deviantART. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Are you still requesting oneshot ideas? 'Cause I have one... Sorry, though, I stopped reading "Without Light." Slash scares me like so bad it hurts. I don't know how I got as far as I did (before Heather was bought), but really I am sorry. Well, my idea was for a Chris/Heather thing...but idk since that doesn't have to do anything with the story since Chris is gay and all *cough*. Oh, and I don't know if you remember, but we talked about this story I was writing...I need opinions and want to know if you're interested in reading...? :) Thanks! And Good oneshot by the way :) Keep Writing! -DerpOnRainbows |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is sweet, first I thought,, OMG Rough .But then it turned really sweet. :D I love how he goes into hibernation when he's all like, "Me want sex! Female give now!" LoL |
![]() ![]() ![]() Aww, I was pleasantly surprised by this one. I usually try to steer away from isolated smut (those that aren't part of a storyline) so at the beginning I was a little wary of the ambience; but as I said-it was a pleasant surprise: sweet yet not too cheesy :) Back to Without Light, I think Kuroshi thought Marcus escaped from the castle, as did everyone else; but his father had actually imprisoned him/put him under a binding spell/killed him, so his only means of communication is through Heather's dreams? And erm, about the kissing thing, I just...try not to think about it? And read on with the belief that Heather has cured him of any romantic inclination whatsoever directed towards Marcus(Delusion is thy middle name :D) |
![]() ![]() ![]() So I just re-read this for like the fourth time (hope that's not weird) and realized I never reviewed! D: I've just bombarded you with reviews today! But I'm sure you don't mind. I love in this piece how sweet Kuro is at the end. I really want to know what he said at the end! ;) This shall definitely be added to my favorites list. I'd say "fantastic work!" here, but then I'd sound like a broken record, haha. ;) -Katie |
![]() ![]() Your skills can be shown by how quickly one falls in love with Kuro and Heather in such a short story *I have not read your other work yet* but it has definitely made me want to read the rest! Great work! |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is well written I liked The "Fiery Dancer" as well and I think I've read this one and that one in the past but just not commented on them, I assume after reading most of these stories that you have made quite the little universe for your characters. I have to say the wording for these stories and paragraph structure is pretty good too as I haven't found any mistakes that could be a major reading issue. Seeing as though I've only read these short stories and not "Without Light" yet following the universe you've created is hard. It's like looking at something with a broken telescope or binoculars and assuming you're closer to the source than you are. I get the idea that Kuroshi, Kintrasero, Kiti, Heather and a good number of any of the other characters I left out in Akadori or The Fiery Dancer play some role in Without Light. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This was very sweet. I admit I'm new to your stories, but even if I didn't understand a few things, I still very much enjoyed reading it! You do an amazing job of depicting their emotion, and describing the setting. Great work! |
![]() ![]() I think that they should have made babies! I liked the in depth version you have here, it lets me see deeper in their personalities. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I think that this might be my favorate "chapter" you have written so far. It's the best amount of everything. I love the intensity and the romance. I like that it didn't go very far though, something nice about hibernation. :) It was very revealing about the characters though. Let is know what Kuro could be like, who he is deep down. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Is this oneshot set during the night of Chapter 18 of Without Light? The one where Kuro realizes he's fallen for her? btw, love that stubborn bitch line. xD |
![]() ![]() ![]() Okay so I stumbled upon you and your story Without Light (mostly amazing!) due to this little story. I read it and have re-read it at least twice now. I keep thinking about it. It was excellent and masterfully written. It was able to stand on its own but after reading Without Light it has so much more meaning! Romantic but not corny - some people have major difficulty with this one but not you! It seemed real you know, like it actually meant something and wasn't just done on a whim. Can’t wait for more and love the insight that your side stories offer into the big picture – Without Light! Keep up the great writing! |