|Reviews for The Rhyddion Chronicles|
| Hana Himura chapter 3 . 10/6/2010
This is an amazing story. Very well writen. Please continue.
| Wendy Thompson135th chapter 3 . 10/5/2010
A noticeable Americanism: "Go." His voice was quiet, but shaking slightly with anger, and when neither of them moved, he rose, yelling, "Get LOST!" ~~or so it seems to me. Maybe it's only anachronistic, but it does grate a little.
| Wendy Thompson135th chapter 2 . 10/5/2010
You might consider reordering this sentence a little: The riders who had set out that morning from Camlo Hill were comprised of the teulu, Prince Iared's household guard. The word meant "family", and this was to be taken literally. ~~More like this: The riders who had set out that morning from Camlo Hill were of Prince Iared's household guard, the teulu. The word meant "family", and this was to be taken literally. ~~Putting the unfamilar word closer to its definition, and putting 'teulu' in italics.
'Padrig had crouched next to Rhys and touched his fingers to the boy's neck. "Yes, I think they left Camlo two days ago." He sat back slightly. "He's warm; hot, rather. He's alive, but not for long unless we take him somewhere his wounds can be treated. God! I wonder where his mother is?" He got up to look around, and Rhys returned his attention to Aedan.
"She wouldn't have left him, not like this," he said fearfully. "Something terrible must have happened. You think the Saexons did this?" ~~who is speaking here? Unclear.
'There was a small thought at the back of his mind that was so morally wrong that Iared didn't even dare consider it – if the boy died of his injuries, then nothing at all would change.' ~~Difficult. The thought itself is not morally wrong; hoping for Aedan's death or taking steps to ensure Aedan's death ~~those would be wrong. It's a fine line, but the thought **alone** does not cross it.
| Xavierus chapter 1 . 10/5/2010
A great start to you novel. I'm a fan of historical fantasy, and it seems so far at least that you novel is going to be a worthy addition to this genre.
I can't see any problems so far with your novel, it seems to flow really well and everything seems to make sense.
I hope that Maira manages to get away but I have a feeling that it isn't going to happen.