Reviews for Slices of Life
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 4 . 10/3/2010
I really like this one; it's really sweet. I like the way you mentioned being disappointed at seeing apples and then sort of realising it meant your mother cared enough to give them to you. Again; it's sweet. These really are lovely to read. I look forward to the next one.
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 3 . 10/1/2010
So, although it's only been about an hour or so since I had dinner, I now feel starving :P The last part, with your list of food that you would cook for people with anorexia, really made my mouth water. The part about melting butter was written nicely, and it's got that sense of childhood innocence in it, too. Nice work.
Zygodactyl chapter 4 . 9/26/2010
These are all really good! I like how short and poignant they are. This is a great idea, and you've inspired me to respond to some one-word prompts myself. I've already written a good (very short) memoir!

P.S. I remember Gihye! She really was tall. When we had to line up by size, she and Lisa were always the tallest. And the Hot Lunch Room sucked!

Dreamers-Requiem chapter 2 . 9/24/2010
Firstly, I think this is a great idea. Especially as you're taking it from quick ten minute exercises. Considering that, this chapter is impressive; I didn't spot any mistakes and it's a great piece of description, there's that childlike feeling in it when you talk about watching him get older, and the vial part is really striking.
Dakota chapter 4 . 9/18/2010
I love how you incorporated Gihye's and Ms. McCabe's names; it made the story seem that much more personal. The last line was great - so poignant and bittersweet.

I can't wait for the next chapter! :)
Morine chapter 4 . 9/18/2010
Did you know that you need to wait at least 15 seconds before submitting another review? I sure didn't, but I do now.

By the way, thanks for suggesting my story in the last chapter :).

Aw, I love leather fruits. They're so yummy. The ones from Trader Joe's are the best. M...

"My school had separate cafeterias for the kids who brought their own lunch and the kids who got a school lunch."- Really? But what if you had a friend and they sat in another cafeteria? It seems really unfair :(.

Aw, see? You and Gihye couldn't eat lunch together because of that stupid rule.

"Now, I wonder if Gihye was jealous of my apples."- Great line. I love that line. It's such an amazing last line. Oh gosh, my mind is blown.

I really liked this story. It was very deep, which I found quite enjoyable.
Morine chapter 3 . 9/18/2010

Aw, the middle chapter was so cute with you as a kid running your fingers over the sticks of butter.

...And now you've made me absolutely starving. You use detail so well in this collection of memoirs (a.k.a Slices of Life).

You're amazing at really bringing the reader into the story.

Good job!

- Morine
Will Cate chapter 4 . 9/17/2010
I like the non-formal atmosphere, it conveys a sense of humanity to me, not from a author to reader perspective, but a person to person(even though the reader is quite an oddball ;), which makes it even more better. Keep up the good work!
Mrs. Justyn Fraser chapter 4 . 9/17/2010
I love the way that you start these memoirs out with the memories, then tie it into something bigger, or a surprising fact that isn't really related but sort of is. Keep it up!
Mrs. Justyn Fraser chapter 3 . 9/17/2010
HAHA, this is adorable. I used to be the same way about butter; whenever I went to a diner after pre-school I would have soup and lick all the butter out of the tub on the table. I never set fire to the microwave though. Next time, just use your super breath on it.

Oh yeah, and the PSA was nice too :). Stupid skinny people. Psh.
Mrs. Justyn Fraser chapter 2 . 9/17/2010
Wow. Just wow. The fact that this was written in ten minutes makes it even more incredible. I love the imagery, and the way that you describe Mr. Stony getting older and you being freaked out by the evidence, then the feeling of not knowing what happened to him. I feel incoherent. But just know I love this.
Dakota chapter 3 . 9/13/2010
I love this chapter. :) The butter packet bit was adorable, and the last line was so perfect.
Lady Eleanor Boleyn chapter 1 . 9/11/2010
I loved the one about the piano! It really did come out well! Great job with the butter one too, though personally, I hate butter!
Morine chapter 2 . 9/11/2010
I also used to take piano lessons! But I never did my homework (practice). I eventually turned to guitar, but this kid from my school was in the class, and I really did not like him. Hence, me quitting instruments in general.

Wow- it was short, but it was so meaningful, and beautifully written. I didn't find any typos, or grammar problems in this memoir, but you characterized Dr. Stony very well in this story.

I'm sorry that the piano wasn't for you, but writing definitely is!
Morine chapter 1 . 9/11/2010
I think your teacher is correct in saying that memoirs are "slices of life."

I also think that this is a really good exercise. This way, you're not too focused on the plot (because it's already happened) and more focused on the writing.

Now I shall read your first passage.
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