Reviews for Difference
OasisAllure2012 chapter 1 . 11/5/2012
I really liked the original. I hope this one is as good
Mariposa-12 chapter 36 . 1/25/2011
Sorry for the long ass review, I just finished reading the story and since it was complete I wanted to finish it before reviewing.

Overall, like i said the concept is pretty cool and I liked it. Thanks for sharing it...

;)
Mariposa-12 chapter 35 . 1/25/2011
Ok. I hope you take this as constructive criticism, or at least as suggestions.

The concept of this story is pretty cool, I think you did a good job.

I know you said you didn't know about football but you also said you knew people that does know about it so...I would suggest you do some research before writing about certain things, like sports, especially if they are going to be kind of a big part of the story. I know this is a fiction story and all but, at least in my opinion, it is also good to have some reality to it. Touchdowns are worth 6 points and Field Goals are worth 3 points, so yeah those scores, and Jefferson scoring 6 touchdowns or more, kinda far fetched.

Also, now that this story is finished I would suggest you go back and read through it and edit it, sometimes it's a bit hard to get what you are trying to say in a sentence unless you read it a couple times.
OasisAllure2012 chapter 36 . 1/18/2011
i have to say i enjoyed the story verry much the characrers had depth the story line was grest and the chapters were great -James
Kelly Rogala chapter 36 . 1/9/2011
I really liked this story a lot, I feel it touches on issues that should not be issues at all. I hate how spineless Catherine is even if she did grow somewhat of a backbone at the end, I for one wouldn't be able to stay with someone who did that. I love the characters of Junior and Avery, I've love that he's a red head (not the norm) and you describe Avery as been very very beautiful. I've started the sequel and can't wait till you get back to Avery and Jefferson!
TheGreenEyedPoet chapter 1 . 1/7/2011
I LOVE this story!And i'm only up to the part "Hell Naw white boy,i grew this hair"

That was halarious..

Like i said,i'm still finishing this story,but i will definitely add you to my FAVORITES!
ecstatic-craze chapter 1 . 12/18/2010
so far i really like it. i like the characters the story plot everything.
adlerose chapter 1 . 12/17/2010
the plot is quite promising but i have problems with how it was written. the sentences are choppy and needs editing in terms of fluidity and punctuation marks, using commas work magic.
MazeRunner chapter 36 . 12/15/2010
A wonderful end to a wonderful story. I'm happy Avery turned out fine (:
MazeRunner chapter 27 . 12/15/2010
Wow too much just happenned. But really guys, the couch?
MazeRunner chapter 14 . 12/15/2010
Senior is attracted to her isnt he? Gosh this is pissing me off! Ugh.. Anyway, back to reading
MazeRunner chapter 10 . 12/15/2010
Wow I've never seen so many yo momma jokes! I really like Avery because like most black girls she's classy but can bring out the attitude the moment someone upsetsher..
MazeRunner chapter 7 . 12/15/2010
Haha that as too funny. Another great chapter(:
MazeRunner chapter 2 . 12/15/2010
"Hell no white boy I didn't buy this hair I grew it. You think all black girls with long hair wear weave?"

I laughed so hard I almost choked lol. I like this story already because you dont come acrss many black main characters.. Anywho..I'm going to continue reading:)
Perfectly Mythical chapter 36 . 12/14/2010
Woah, only six reviews so far (not including mine). Gosh, people just seem to skip right past the most amazing stories, don't they? Oh, yeah, silly me, i forgot to say that this story is brilliant. Hmm... i'll put in a little bit of critique.

I think Senior needs a bit more character development. He seems too sterotypical racist, maybe you can add a bit of business man in there? Give him some sort of other side, give him something he's compassionate/passionate about, give him ideals, give him dreams (whether he believes in them or not). Show a bit of the side

Catherine fell in love with, even if it's only in a flashback or in a conversation.

Also Avery doesn't seem to show any hesitation around Senior in the beginning, which I feel needs to be there, even if it's just her showing signs of unease and sounding a bit sour when he speaks. Make her discomfort obvious, even if it doesn't show on the outside.

Critique Ends... Personal Experiences Begin:(Could be useful for future angst stories)

I'm a fair skinned girl (even though I consider myself pretty normal), and I don't really think there is much of a difference between the two skin tones. Oh, except that studies show that maybe in the next couple of centuries only dark toned people will remain. I believe in the beauty within. Not the appearance, not the personalities or facades others may put up to keep others out, but the pure spirit who believes in what's right.

I was sexually abused by my own father when I was seven years old. He hadn't even raised me in any manner beforehand, he'd left my mother to do everything, whoch is why they broke up and divorced. He comes back into my life when I am five for four hour time periods every second weekend, but isn't allowed to have me sleep at his house until I was seven. I know that I never forgot the incident, and I've been haunted by memories of what have happened for years now. I'm still bothered by it now. I'm going to seek justice by going to the police when I am stronger and in a more stable frame of mind. I wouldn't want it happening to anyone else. To ruin another persons childhood, to take away their happiness.

I used to believe that my soul was broken after that, because I never felt truly happy. When people say that they're so depressed, it's like walking in a pitch black tunnel looking blindly for light, they mean it. I was encaged by my experience of it, and even now, i'm still adjusting to hugging the fathers of my friends. I'm brilliant, or so I'm told. I'm so bright, that everyone I meet seems to comment on that.

For a while in my life I felt like giving up, yes, that kind of giving up, suicide. I first had these thoughts when I was only eight years old, and I would try my best to inflict pain on myself (through punches and bashing myself against walls and the like, try as I did, I couldn't cut myself with a knife even though I wanted to). Looking back now, I realise how horrifying that is, seeing a young girl be so defeated, and unhappy that she would want to take her own life.

I thought it was my fault, what my father did to me, I thought I did something wrong.

I know better know, but someone who goes through an experience like that never forgets. I'm able to tell people of my past now.

I missed two years of high school (years 8 and 9) because I was stuck within the memories of what my father did to me. Even so, because of my intelligence level, I didn't have to repeat a grade. My friends came close to all giving up on me, and I hate how I made them suffer by worrying about me.

I'm a hypocrite, I'll worry myself sick over anyone I love, but I don't want other people to worry about me.

I've set myself free now... I've decided not to doubt anymore. I won't doubt in anything and anyone I believe in. I'm going to make sure I can continue with my life and become even stronger because of this.

I'm great at writing, read exceptionally quickly, have talent in art, suck at singing and dancing, but I'm myself now, whoch is all that really matters. And I know I'm going to make it out alright.

FEAR:

False

Evidence

Appearing

Real

I've studied it, debated with it... just because something happened, doesn't mean that that's always what's going to happen.

eg. We're so close to the edge, what if I fall? , {hmm, it shouldn't be hard for you to come up with more...} eg. some spiders are deadly, they could kill me
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