Reviews for Crossing the Finish Line
Equal Love Always chapter 24 . 1/9/2015
I love this story, your writing is amazing. Your characters are one of a kind.
ZoeBaby33060 chapter 1 . 9/16/2014
Sooooo.. Ive lost count as to how many times Ive read this story which should tell you how much I REALLY like it. You truly have a gift in writing.. in taking a reader to a journey. I am impatiently waiting for you to finish this story. I am so in love with these characters especially Ryan that I can already picture a sequel to this story with them tackling adulthood. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE FINISH THIS STORY!
Impatient chapter 24 . 8/10/2014
It's been 7 months. I hope you haven't abandoned this baby. I want to read more about Charlene and Ryan.
wasabii chapter 23 . 7/21/2014
Well... ... didn't see that coming.
You know I thought the name calling was middle school, but hey, I guess anything goes. If I was Ryan I would laugh it off.
I would be stunned then ask him why he didn't just go for it.
Ryan shouldn't be mad. He has a great girlfriend, and he should be happy for Wes.
wasabii chapter 22 . 7/21/2014
This is the second part odd my review from the last chapter.

Nana doesn't need to watch television she should read this! Charlene's risky decision backfired on her and I personally know what its like to get caught in a lie; HORRIBLE.
You are an excellent writer. One of the main reasons why I read you're story is how realistic you make the characters.
I would be unbelievably pissed if someone lied to me like that. I especially liked this line:

Ryan grabbed her, looking angry enough to shake the life out of her. "Tell me!" he demanded. "You couldn't do what?"

It shows that he was angry enough to do that but, he didn't because he was in love with her. Or I don't know that's just me talking.
Its great that they're going to the next level of their relationship, and I can't wait for there to be a WorldStar on that crazy ho to get dragged.

Now this is my review for this chapter.
Talk about drama. To be honest it turned out a lot better than I expected. The yelling and arguing seemed realistic; Joshua seems like a douche, but most likely has his reasons, which I hope are explained soon.
I do wonder how they are going to go about this and where they'll stay(Ryan and Charlie).
wasabii chapter 21 . 7/21/2014
Oh shit. I got secondhand-embarrassment just from reading the part where she saw Ryan with her Nana. I knew the fact that he let it go so easily meant something was going to happen. Anyway, I'll review once I'm done with this chapter. I just needed to get that out lol
ZoeBaby33060 chapter 24 . 6/5/2014
I am a big fan of this story and desperately hope you write another chapter soon! You are a very skilled writer and found myself falling in love with both Ryan and Charlie. I also love the clues you slip in the story to give us an idea as to what may happen next. You surely have gained a fan in me and will now wait in anticipation for the next chapters to come along.
renegade01 chapter 24 . 2/27/2014
Awesome story. I'm loving it so far ;-)
Bbria1213 chapter 24 . 2/18/2014
I love this story. Can't wait until you update! :)
Guest chapter 24 . 1/14/2014
Ventracere chapter 21 . 1/13/2014
Great subtle descriptions. I especially loved the "tiger eyes" line. I also really like how you are able to capture the reality and add in more verisimilitude with the little tendencies, and the little things that your characters feel as you go through the chapter. Good job there.

To be honest, I'm not a big fan of school fics and don't read much of them. Just be careful as you write a story like this you stay on the right side of not over dramatizing things. You're fine here, but at points I feel like you are close to drifitng into the area, but not crossing the line yet. Then again, I dont read many stories like these, so its moreof a personal preference.

Great job though! Excited to see where this goes!
alltheeagles chapter 24 . 1/12/2014
For the RG EF

I'm jumping right into this chapter cause it was requested, so I have absolutely no background knowledge of what's going on.

Right, what I like about this chapter is the apparent connection between Charlene's parents' relationship as documented in those letters, and the parallel events that seem to be taking place with Charlene and Ryan presently. I like things like that, which show that a story is well planned out in advance. Flying-by-the-seat-of-one's-pants stories plotlines are rarely satisfying. I don't know how significant the lovemaking is since I don't know what kind of relationship they have, but it seems to be consensual and mutually satisfying so I'm assuming it's a friends with benefits arrangement. I think this chapter can be improved by working on the numerous errors that are found, the most glaring of which is 'harry mole'.
Jitterbug Blues chapter 21 . 1/12/2014
Okay, I'm back :)

I'm not sure if I was going to drop another review tonight, but I recall really liking this story, and I'll just have a treat tonight by reviewing this. I will admit that I really like your style. It's very comfortable and engaging, and I think you're doing a great job keeping me invested, though I haven't read anything from the previous chapters (well, apart from chapter one).

I don't necessarily have anything constructive to offer tonight, but that's because I'm upset/a bit dizzy. I kind of had trouble focusing on the text, but not as much as with others tonight. I think it's because your style is rather breezy, and easy to digest. You allow the reader to breathe - which I really appreciate. I like how your introspective never drags, and how it never interrupts the flow of the dialogue either.

I REALLY like the emotion in this. It's very tangible and real; I really felt engaged while reading this chapter, even though I know so little about the characters. They just feel real, and their personalities are likable. I remember Charlene being so bitchy in chapter one, and here she seems much more mature, and nicer? I cared about her conflicts in this chapter, and her insecurities tugged at my heartstrings. I felt that her stage fright was especially relatable - she's just so modest, and I really like that.

I really enjoy the relationship between her and Ryan. It's sweet, even though there are problems, but I feel that they genuinely love each other. Sure, a few lines here and there get a bit corny - but not in a bad way, because I see nothing against well-written romance. Especially if the chemistry feels real.

Yeah, I'm definitely invested, despite not having read a lot of this :)
Jitterbug Blues chapter 24 . 1/10/2014
(Minor rant:) I NEVER usually skip that many chapters when I read a story. I really don't like reading this like this, because it makes me miss out most of the context, and I don’t really have the chance to familiarise myself with the characters either. It just honestly makes it harder for me to leave quality feedback. I’m not really sure why you’re doing this – why is it so bad if someone reviewed the earlier chapters?

Sorry, for the negativity, but it’s just something that makes reading and reviewing unnecessarily difficult D:

Apart from the fact that I knew very little in regards to what was going on or what had happened before, I liked the letters. You know, I’d be really curious to find out more. What happened to those two? How did their friendship develop? It’s just that, judging from those letters, a lot of interesting things happened, and I love how you depicted that. The emotion and tensions were very evident in those letters, from the style you used. I also liked how Charlene reacted to those letters, acting as a sort of tie between the past and the present. It was just lovely to see her show that much interest in her parents, and I felt it was a very interesting and nicely done scene.

I also liked the scene with Ryan in the car. His anger was very palpable, and I liked how you lead up this scene to the one of him and Charlene interacting. And, you know, despite that the fact that I know so little of this story, I really enjoyed their interaction. Their chemistry is very tangible, and I like how you wrote their dialogue – it just seemed natural for two teenagers, and the emotions were always right. I like how their discussion shifted from curious, to angry, to argumentative, and lastly loving. They seem like a very dynamic couple :D

I liked the mature content. The sex scenes were very sweet, and tastefully handled; I loved how tender they were too, showcasing the affection and love between the two. No, really - it was just a lovely scene, and I also liked how you showcased Ryan's desire earlier for Charlene.

As for the plot: I feel that Ryan's anger towards Wes was at least understandable. I think I would feel betrayed too if my best friend screwed around with my ex. I am not a guy, so I don't don't understand the 'bro code', but I liked how you showed his feelings here. They were not over the top, but you did show how devastated he really was. Hmm, I hope his anger will eventually simmer down though.

...I'm not sure what else to say, really? I'd prefer reading the earlier chapters for the next rounds, but oh well.
lovinurbuks chapter 24 . 1/10/2014
I loved this chapter! Liked that it was about Charli and Ryan! I can guarantee that the next chapter shall be Dramalicious!
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