|Reviews for Crossing the Finish Line|
| Melly chapter 24 . 1/9/2014
Wes broke the bro code...sleeping with your bestfriend ex is unacceptable. Ryan should not forgive his sorry excuse for a friend. Charlie girl you need to keep you ass quiet running away with Ryan is not a good idea
| carlalegre chapter 24 . 1/9/2014
"…rolling the window down, the rest of the way down." That was the only awkward sentence I read in the entire chapter. Otherwise, the grammar was solid.
Then again, I was so distracted by Charlie and Ryan that I didn't pay attention to much else aside from what they were doing.
I think this was written really well. I envy you for being able to write a sexual scene without being extremely crude in your descriptions or not detailed enough. You've found the perfect balance that works.
Since I haven't read any of the previous chapters and you specified for this one to be reviewed, I'm writing on it as a stand-alone. Which is why I can't answer your question about Ryan forgiving Wes, even though you did provide a bit of a backstory through their dialogue.
I think the last scene, while they're having sex, seemed very realistic. They weren't having sex just to f-k. I could feel the emotion and the love between them through their words. The communication was flawless and believable and I really enjoyed reading this.
| Fantasque chapter 24 . 1/9/2014
First, this story is paced really, really well! I think I have touched on it before, but after reading books that fly through establishing relationships, it was nice to read this chapter and think of how far these two have come. Second, ho boy those letters she found! Ryan's dad has had a finger in every pie for quite a while... Third, to answer your questions, I think he should forgive and talk to Wes. It's obvious to the reader that Wes is seeing the situation differently than Ryan and they need to get on the same page cause Wess is going to need any ally he can get soon. Them showing up hand in hand will probably not go over well as so far 1980s Dixie Six is reading as lot like 1960s Dixie Six tends to, lol.
| deadaccount2019 chapter 23 . 1/6/2014
I haven't had a chance to read previously, so I'm going to review based on the contents of this chapter alone.
Very good hook line. I know dialogue can be kind of a sketchy thing to start out with, but in this case you chose a very effective sentence. I also felt starting the chapter off with such a clear aftermath scene was a good idea. Really, the reader can come into this chapter with or without prior knowledge of the story and still get a good grasp at what's going on, but at the same time it doesn't feel overwhelming.
Very strong building on the relationship between Ryan and his father. Based on this chapter alone, it seems like there's a good grasp on an unhealthy father/son relationship that's finally reached its breaking point. The relationship between Charlie and Ryan feels like it may fall into a romance trope or two, but there definitely is some intriguing aspects to them outside of exploring an interracial couple.
Some little things through out, I found in a couple places the dialogue got a bit heavy; maybe just balance it out a bit with narrative or a touch of description. Also, the discussion with Nana felt a bit long winded at some points. This wasn't so bad, but I think it would help with visual aesthetic and pacing if you broke up the larger blocks of text into smaller paragraphs.
So... From the reaction of seeing each other, I'm guessing Ryan is Christi's ex. Very awkward situation, but I'm glad that you went with such a downplayed reaction to the situation. A lot of times a character will be written to go on a testosterone spree or some other stunt, so to see Ryan just walk away spoke so much louder and was a very much needed breath of fresh air in the romance genre.
| Jitterbug Blues chapter 1 . 1/5/2014
So I was actually not sure where you and your review came from XD but thanks for your kind comments! I'll be reviewing this first chapter, since it's not my policy to be fair, and just start at the very beginning (and it makes the story and reading process more enjoyable for me).
I like the way you describe the settings - as someone who's often travelled to the countryside, I can confirm that the sights and SMELLS are realistic. I also like the themes so far; racism is still prevalent, and - even if this story is set in the 1980s - it seems very relevant to today's society as well (and it's awful how this all ties in with the fate of Charlene's brother).
I like the way you characterise Charlene. She comes across as snotty and annoying at first, but I like how you softened her towards the end, making it clear that she's just hurting. I also think her attitude is very realistic, in terms of her being a teenager and all. No one wants to move, least of all teens who identify very strongly with their friends and settings.
So yeah, this is a nice intro - and I'd love to read more!
| lovinurbuks chapter 23 . 1/5/2014
Update soon! And no he does and he doesn't have the right to be angry... its 50/50
| Guest chapter 23 . 12/11/2013
Wow. Did not see that coming, that was a good twist. I can understand him being upset, its kinda weird dating a friends ex, and not telling him. Can't wait for another update
| Melly chapter 23 . 10/28/2013
I saw the Wes and Christi drama a long time ago, not really surprising. Wes hooking up with your best friend ex is a HELL NO
| 72898 chapter 23 . 10/24/2013
I knew it! I'm terrible...I don't want Christi to be happy.
I think Ryan should just laugh it off.
| Fantasque chapter 23 . 10/24/2013
Ha! I had a feeling Wes liked Christi so their hook up is not a real surprise, but I would be surprised if Ryan flips. He has a right to be upset with Wes not telling him (when you decide to swap fluids with your best friends ex, you should at least give them a heads up), but he knows Christi is the definition of trifling. Either way, he should turn the page on that one quickly.
I am surprised that Charlene just decided to look around for stuff from her dad's past. Did it really never occur to her that her extra random father might have left something behind? I hope she does some more digging as her mother seems to have had the same effect on Ryan's dad as she has on Ryan.
Thanks for the update!
| Kat Von chapter 22 . 9/27/2013
you are gonna update soon right...RIGHT?! you cant leave me hanging like that man
| QueenMojo chapter 1 . 9/18/2013
This is a wonderfully written story. The characters are well made, as though they were real. Wisedec, you are truly talented.
| Vampluver96 chapter 22 . 9/18/2013
| kara chapter 22 . 8/23/2013
| DiamondHart chapter 22 . 8/19/2013
ILY... The story is ahmazing (if u dont really count the smut content, sory im conservativ that way). but NO OTHER NOTES! WHOOOOO ur amazing at wat u write. Pls pls pls PLS Update!